Smile-Inducing Camera Choreography

I'm not a fan of ABBA, but much a fan of intricate camera movements and long tracking shots (I sat through Russian Ark!), so I enjoyed this much more than I expected. The "magic" begins around 0:24.

Estate Tax Repeal = More Deaths?

The great Nate Silver (and we need our own Nate Silver more than we need our own Obama) links to an interesting study conducted in Australia on the 1979 repeal in that country of inheritance/estate taxes (the tax due on the estate of the recently deceased before it can be distributed to the heirs), and the number of reported deaths immediately before and immediately after the repeal of the tax. The study (PDF) concludes that there was "a statistically significant effect of the abolition of estate taxes on the number of deaths", mainly that more people were reported to have died in the days after the tax was abolished than in the days immediately before. The study concedes what should be obvious -- that the statistical aberration may be due to the delay (and falsification) in reporting the date of death, in order to avoid the payment of the estate taxes.

The study may have some significance in the United States, as Mr. Silver points out, because of a quirk in the US estate tax law where the tax would be absolutely repealed in 2010 before being restored to a rate of 55% in 2011.

I personally believe that in theory, the estate tax is among the most fair and equitable of taxes (moreso than the income tax even). At the same time, especially in the Philippines, estate taxes have caused untold hardship to the heirs. Not only because its payment in cash is required before the distribution of the estate, but also because many of the assets of the estate (which in theory answers for the tax) are in the nature of real properties or otherwise illiquid. Right now, the Tax Code allows the extension of the period of payment for around 5 years, but that still is inconvenient to the heirs who would of course want the immediate distribution of the estate.

Why not allow the payment of estate taxes to be accomplished by securing a real estate mortgage over any real property of the estate, in the amount of the estate tax due, from a government financial institution? It would be proper to impose interest, but it should be minimal. There really is no good reason to hold up the distribution of the estate because of estate taxes. The strong possibility is that once an heir has acquired properties from the estate, she/he would be able to develop these to generate more income, resulting in more internal revenue collected by the government. In contrast, if the properties remain in the name of the estate, they tend to remain stagnant because of the need to obtain consensus among the heirs on how to develop the same.

On Linux Styled for Philippine Government Offices

Inquirer reports that a special "Bayanihan Linux for Government" has been prepared, including a bundle of open-source software such as K Desktop environment, OpenOffice, Mozilla Firefox, XVidCap and the MPlayer. 

I am skeptical. From experience, I can tell that the learning curve for many of these programs (especially OpenOffice) is quite steep, especially for old government hands too steeped in MS Word and other Microsoft standbys. OpenOffice has an especially clunky footnote format system which is unsuitable for the mass production of legal documents, which tend to be footnote heavy. 

On Killers Who Sing at Their Victims' Funerals

I chanced upon this passage from Sef Gonzales's Wikipedia page:

He claimed to police that he had discovered the bodies when he arrived home, and that he had chased off intruders. Gonzales sang "One Sweet Day" at the funeral, and appeared on television asking for the killers to come forward, saying that he wanted justice and offering a reward for information.

Sef Gonzales, you might recall, was the 21-year old Baguio-born immigrant to Australia who was later convicted of killing his father, mother and younger sister. The details from Wikipedia and the court decision convicting him are much more heinous than I had realized. But offering a song number during the funeral of your victims just adds an extra layer of evil. There may be a rational reason for doing so -- to evade suspicion -- but the gall, the cold-hearted compunction it must for take for the killer not just to speak, but to sing, to convey to the grieving through art a fraudulent sense of loss that you yourself are responsible for. Simply incomprehensible.

In a similar vein, seemingly taken out of the Regal Films playbook, is what happened during the wake of an 11-year old Cebuano boy who was raped and killed in 1996. Taken from the Supreme Court decision convicting the killer:

On 9 December 1996 at around 1:00 o'clock in the morning a person acting suspiciously but unknown to the [the victim's parents] went to the wake. There he created a spectacle of himself by reciting poems for [the boy] and singing the theme song from the movie "The Lion King," and giving emphasis to the word "surrender." [The boy's father] reported to the authorities the unusual behavior of their "uninvited guest." The police immediately went to the [family] residence to observe the person. They invited him to their headquarters for further observation and questioning. He went with them voluntarily. He was identified later as herein accused-appellant Ralph Velez Diaz.

Ralph Velez Diaz was convicted for the murder, escaping the death penalty only because of a defect in the information. 

My New Blog

The timeline:

6:38 PM: (on YM) "Just thought of a great blog title: 'The Explanatory of Self'." Better than "Age of Brillig". 

6:40 PM: Google reveals only two hits for "explanatory of self", as in "explanatory of self-care" and "explanatory of self-neglect".

6:42 PM: http://explanatoryofself.blogspot.com/

Don't know what I'll put in this new blog. Probably the pseudo-literary stuff. 

Magalona Home Robbed During Francis M.'s Wake

Buried in this ABS-CBN story about unauthorized Francis M. tribute shows is this appalling tidbit:

Pia also confirmed reports that thieves broke into their house during the wake of Francis.

She said that it happened for two consecutive nights. She said that on the first night, things of her youngest child like PSP, laptop and cellular phone were taken.

On the second night her cellular phone, Francis' PSP and things of her other son were robbed.

I am thankful that Ms. Pia had the wit not to invoke that old trope about "pinaglalaruan lang sila ng patay." I'm certain that many of you, myself included, would have stories about losing personal effects at around the time of a loved one's death. Still, the assumption of the more logical reason by the Magalona family is refreshing, especially in the annals of local showbiz reporting.

My Head Trauma Anecdote

Newer accounts of Natasha Richardson's awful, apparently fatal accident have triggered memories of an accident I sustained around 20 years ago which I now realize was more dangerous than had seemed to me then. It now appears that Ms. Richardson, who tumbled down a hill during a skiing lesson, was able to walk away from the scene with no visible injuries, laughing and joking, refusing to see a doctor. She started to suffer a headache about an hour after, and quickly decline thereafter.

I was in sixth grade during my own accident. One Friday, a few of us were sent out to lunch earlier than the other kids. As the covered courts were then empty, I exploited the opportunity and started running around. I had recently seen a Ripley's Believe it or Not strip about the man with the world record for running backwards, and I decided to try beat that record. I did not realize then the physics involved in such a venture, and merely assumed it involved running as fast as you could, but backwards. So off I went into a blazing start, and off I fell head first. 

I remember hearing the sickening thud, laying still eyes closed for a while, and a voice from a distance saying "buti nga!" (I remember who said it, and will remember that for the rest of my life.) I was helped up, but was able to walk unassisted to the clinic. Save for a gash on my arm, no external injuries, and I thought the clinic would bandage my wound and that was that. I felt fine, even giddy at having survived such a stupid ordeal with no apparent consequence. 

When the doctor learned though that I had smashed my noggin onto the sun-baked concrete pavement, she told me I had to stay put, and under no circumstances was I to fall asleep. She also called my home, and when neither parent was present, left word that they were to rush to the clinic pronto. I spent the next three hours lollipop in hand or mouth, lollygagging around the clinic under the care and comfort of the elderly head nurse, a very warm and very fat lady who was the mother of a retired PBA player (both mother and son are since deceased). My exuberance over missing afternoon classes was soon replaced by the same boredom had I attended classes, save the stench of isopropyl alcohol. 

When my mom finally arrived, around three hours had passed since the fall. The doctor was insisting that it remained advisable I be rushed to the ER and perhaps kept overnight for observation. I said I was fine, didn't want to go to no steenking hospital, and that was on one level a smart decision since these were the good old days when there was yet no state medical insurance. They finally reckoned that if I was fated to die, I would have done so lollipop in mouth an hour or two earlier. I went home, added the fall to my list of stories, and avoided any near-fatal accidents for the next 18 years, until the day my leg fell through the platform gap just as the doors of the EDSA MRT were closing. (spoiler alert: I survived)

I now realize that the clinic then was worried what is called "talk and die syndrome", which Ms. Richardson is believed to have suffered. Reading about it is quite shattering to self-confidence, and probably sets a rule that as long as you bump your head, you seek medical attention immediately, regardless how much you insist otherwise. 

34-Year Old DJ Poised for Violent Ascension to Madagascar Presidency

You are a 34-year old DJ and events organizer. Do you have any realistic chance to immediately assume the presidency of the United States? No you can't! So, goodbye America and hello Madagascar, the new land of equal opportunity. Aforementioned DJ and events oganizer Andry Rajoelina, who at 34 is six years too young to run for the presidency of Madagascar, is anyway poised to claim power via an old-fashioned coup d'etat (though the current president, Marc Ravalomanana, has vowed to fight to the death). 

At 34, Rajoelina will be among the youngest heads of state in the world (though older than the King of Bhutan), and quite plausibly the first ever non-monarch world leader to have played with a He-Man action figure as a child. Some perspective. In 1967, Omar Bongo assumed the presidency of Gabon at the tender age of 31. Some 42 years later, Bongo remains in power, still spry at 73. 

Rajoelina will inspire not only DJs and event organizers with directionless lives, but also  a lot of lazy would-be Obamas around the world, the ones who do not want to bother with community organizing, inspiring people, building up electoral majorities, etc. Yes we can!

Service of Summons Through Facebook

In a landmark ruling that is of little consequence to the Filipino legal community, the High Court of New Zealand approved the service of legal papers through Facebook on a defendant in a civil suit. The report from AFP.The defendant, Craig Axe, was believed to be in Britain, hence the difficulty in serving him legal papers through conventional methods. Counsel for plaintiffs asked the High Court to be allowed to serve the papers through Facebook, and this was allowed by the New Zealand High Court. 

I'm too tired to find out, but I'm not sure whether Facebook accepts attachments, such as the PDF file of those papers. Will the plaintiff have to type out the complaint and send it as a message or post it on Craig Axe's wall? If I were Craig Axe though, I'd manifest receipt of papers through a status update: "Craig Axe got served!" 

I doubt if such a ruling can be accommodated under the Rules of Procedure in the Philippines, which specifically relies on the registered mail system. If the defendant cannot be found in the Philippines, extraterritorial service (which involves publication in a newspaper) may be resorted to, as well as service by publication if the whereabouts of the defendant are unknown (see Sections 14 & 15, Rules of Civil Procedure). 

Ron Silver (1946-2009)

Ron Silver, who died today aged 62, would likely take as a compliment that he was among the Hollywood actors most skilled in playing slime to grace the screen in the last 20 years. For me, his creep factor went way up when the formerly liberal actor delved deeply in right-wing politics after 9/11. His political shift though most certainly enhanced his abilities, most evidently in The West Wing, where he stood out as the one unquestionable black hat in the angelic Bartlett White House. Whenever Bruno Gianelli appeared onscreen, he managed to drag down that high-minded show to the realpolitik level.

I last saw him on an a rather clever episode of Crossing Jordan, where he played an especially satanic defense attorney who ostensibly underwent a Scrooge-like transformation during a near-death experience, but not really. The first time I saw him was in a more heroic-lawyer vein (not really), as Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz, who defends Claus von Bulow (Oscar-winning Jeremy Irons) in the underrated Reversal of Fortune.

Several Injured at America's Next Top Model Auditions

As with Dick Cheney shooting a 78-year old man in the face, this is funny because nobody died. 6 injured, according to CNN, but I prefer the account of the tabloidish New York Daily News, in verse that would do Hitchcock proud:

Screaming as they ran for their lives, hundreds of hotties in heels toppled over barricades along W. 55th St. after several people in the crowd started yelling, "There's a bomb!"

Short people may be to blame, hints to the NYDN:

The audition for the The CW show, which for the first time was open to women under 5-feet-7, was doomed from the start, several said.

A passage from the New York Post account is in similar vein:

Casting manager Lisi Alpert said the network was unprepared for the deluge of wannabes, saying "we've never had this many girls before" and attributing the big crowd to the relaxed height rules.

Randy Newman must be thrilled over this moment of validation.

Beyonce Fans Stupider Than Pearl Jam Fans -- Study

Courtesy of Ben Greenman at the New Yorker, the Greatest Study Ever!! 113 musical artists ranked according to the intelligence of their fans. A CalTech Ph.D. student named Virgil Griffith prepared the survey, and he explains how he arrived at the rankings:

1. Get a friend of yours to download, using Facebook, the ten most frequent "favorite music" at every college via that college's Network Statistics page on Facebook (manually -- as not to violate Facebook's ToS). These ten "favorite musics" are perhaps indicative of the overall intellectual milieu of that college.

2. Download the average SAT/ACT score (from CollegeBoard) for students attending every college.

3. Presto! We have a correlation between musical tastes and dumbitude (smartitude too)!

Music <=> Colleges <=> Average SAT Scores

4. Plot the average SAT of each "favorite music", discarding those with too few samples to have a reliable average.

5. Post the results on your website, pondering what the Internet will think of it.

Unscientific? Almost certainly. Debate-provoking? Intensely. Some thoughts.

• Beethoven has far and away the smartest fans, but "classical music" buffs are among the dumbest, probably because those who are not discriminating enough to cite particular composers instead of saying "classical music" are probably not that bright.


• Norah Jones are way way smarter than "jazz" fans. Profoundly disturbing, though see above for possible explanation; also could be that the Kenny G. enthusiasts pull down the score.


• Beatles fans are smarter than those of Coldplay, but not by much, and Radiohead fans are more intelligent than those two others. Seems about right. Not so much the Foo Fighters being considerably outranked by the Dave Matthews Band.


• I'm surprised that Cake is only in the middle of the list, they have had this slightly nerdy, too hip for school cachet (though less so than TMBG, which is not among the ranked). Jack Johnson fans are supposedly smarter -- I guess the "sea breeze" does some good to the brain.


• I never thought I would ever say this, but Mr. Timberlake is a way more interesting artist than either Kelly Clarkson or Josh Groban, and at least somewhat more interesting than John Mayer. What gives?


• The hip-hop genre seems arranged just right, with Outkast and Kanye leading the pack, while Li'l Wayne dragging the rear.


• I have never heard of Sufjan Stevens, whose fans are the second smartest set. What I've checked out on YouTube is interesting enough.

The rankings are also arranged according to genre. Enjoy.

Adam Lambert = Mandy Patinkin

I haven't really followed this season of American Idol, but I have seen enough. Let me be the first to say that Adam Lambert is a young Mandy Patinkin. The resemblance, while not exact, is there. Lambert has that Broadway/showtunes background which seeps in his performances, no matter how hard he tries to go the other way.

Lambert probably won't win Idol (then again, Taylor Hicks), but he's bound to have some sort of career in showbiz. Will it be as mercurial as Patinkin's, devoted to tormenting the Thomas Gibsons of the mid-21st century? Whatever happens, Lambert does appear to have sufficient flamboyance to pull of a line such as "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

 

The Fun-Filled Flag and Heraldic Code of the Philippines

AKA The Law That Quantifies Your Love of Country. Amendments have been proposed (which you can read here, PDF format). Much to nitpick about it, like whether it is consistent with the spirit of Ebralinag (see Section 25), or whether it can lead to our own Texas v. Johnson (see Section 34a). But I have one special gripe, one that boils my blood. Section 37.

The rendition of the National Anthem, whether played or sung, shall be in accordance with the musical arrangement and composition of Julian Felipe. 

The proposed amendment is even worse.

The rendition of the National Anthem, whether played or sung, shall be in accordance with the musical arrangement and composition of Julian Felipe, the original copy of which is officially kept at the National Library of the Philippines, in Two/Four (2/4) beat within the range of 100 to 120 metronome.

Now, I'm corny enough to say I love our national anthem, that I get goosebumps when I hear it at appropriate moments. Better than that old drinking song Americans mangle with glee, than that feckless tune that Canadians manage to eep out. But a few things to keep in mind.

First. As made clear by the amendment, Lupang Hinirang was designed as a march. Sousa march, Colonel Bogey march. That is why it had no lyrics. The "musical arrangement and composition of Julian Felipe", as played in Kawit, Cavite on June 12, 1898, was not designed for singing. The original lyrics came one year later, courtesy of Jose Palma.

Second. Wikipedia says: "In the 1920s, the time signature was changed to 4/4 to facilitate its singing and the key was changed from the original C major to G." Mira! That "musical arrangement and composition of Julian Felipe" in 2/4 glory? Not designed for singing. 

Third. The obvious purpose of the law is to maintain fealty to Tierra Adorada in its original conception. For the government of Emilio Aguinaldo. Who consolidated power after having Bonifacio executed. Who bluntly named himself "Dictator of the Dictatorial Government". If we are all for historical accuracy, it is Aguinaldo's vision of the Philippines, and not our current democratic system which Tierra Adorada in 2/4 beat glory celebrates.

Fourth. And yes, we are a democracy, with freedom of expression and all, freedom to celebrate our love of country in the manner that we see fit and not in the way our government dictates us to under threat of imprisonment or fine. What better symbolizes the Philippines? A free-flowing interpretation of Lupang Hinirang made with the benefit of the artist's inherent and guaranteed right to freely express herself/himself? Or a military march, deviation from which is sanctioned with military-style discipline.

Here's a version of Lupang Hinirang made in defiance of the Flag and Heraldic Code. Its arranger and singers are, under the Flag and Heraldic Code, liable for public censure, fine or imprisonment. So what if this version gets you teary-eyed, evokes the memory of martyrs like Rizal and Bonifacio, enraptures you over the talent of Filipino singers, makes you appreciate your nation even just a little bit more. (I overestimate the quality of that version, but you get my point)

Changes for the Next Bar Exams

Last February 3, the Supreme Court of the Philippines approved changes beginning with the 2009 bar examinations. Each bar subject is now divided into two parts, with two different examiners for each part. The time allotment and weight of the subjects though remain the same. 

The text of the Resolution (B.M. No. 1161) is apparently unavailable at the Supreme Court website, but it may be found at The LawPhil Project of Arellano Law.

Chimp Able to Premeditate Murder of Hundreds of Humans

Scary news from the BBC:

A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers.

Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles. 

Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles.

The findings are reported in the journal Current Biology.

Soon, we foolish humans will pay for our flippancy.

Tullio Pinelli (1908-2009)

A few words in praise of Tullio Pinelli, the Italian screenwriter who died aged 100. Pinelli is most associated with Federico Fellini, for who he scripted such films as La Strada, La Dolce Vita, and one of my favorite films of all time, 8 1/2. Pinelli was a lawyer, but that aspect rarely reflected in his films, unlike Kieslowski's choice screenwriter Krzysztof Piesiewicz whose scripts reek of lawyer, but in a very good way. (Need artful penance this Holy Week? See Dekalog, all of it.)

8 1/2 is an extremely polarizing film, affection for which strongly depends on how grounded are your feet to earth when you see it. It still though perfectly captures the eccentric, formless process by which an artist creates art. There is no mythology assigning to Pinelli authorship over 8 1/2 (unlike Citizen Kane),  and it can be argued that Nino Rota's immortal score is more indispensable in defining 8 1/2. I'd expect though that Fellini's vision would not have materialized without his trusted collaborator by his side, even if he may have wanted him hanged at times. 

After Fellini died in 1993, I dutily read his New York Times front-page obituary at the Jefferson Library, then handed the paper to the article photocopied. The lady running the Xerox machine saw the news, and exclaimed, "Huh? Namatay na siya?!" We had a nice chat for a few minutes, and I learned she had been a film buff in the 1960s. It did cross my mind that the apparent career path of film buffs of the 1960s ended with operating Xerox machines in libraries 30 years hence. A few years later, I enrolled in law school. 

93-Year Old YouTube Celebrity Chef

Via the excellent NPR: Monkey See blog by Linda Holmes (formerly Miss Alli from Television Without Pity), recipes from the Great Depression demonstrated on YouTube by 93-year old Clara Cannucciari. The novelty is not only due to Ms. Cannucciari's age, but also because Depression-era cooking (i.e., ingredients foraged from the garbage dump) is, in this era of the New Great Depression, bound for a comeback as with all things 1930s. (Hugh Jackman/Bernadette Peters = the new Astaire/Rogers) A DVD compilation will be out soon and will probably sell well, unless people will have to pawn their DVD players in order to afford these meals thereby leading to a O.Henry dillemma with a technology twist. Her success will only stimulate the hand model sector. In the meantime, enjoy this Depression-era miracle of Cooked Bread courtesy of Ms. Cannucciari:

The Assassination of Lee Iacocca

Don't expect any extended thoughts from me about Watchmen until after I have seen the film again, and after I've completed reading all volumes of the comic book. I'll need to undertake some serious internal examination of conscience before I can assert without shame, my gut feeling that the film is one of the masterpieces of the 21st century and of the third millenium, save for the trite use of the most obvious pop music hits as ironical counterpoints. (The Times They Are A Changin'', really? Still, can you name another opening credit sequence that matches in scope, ambition and wit?)

A few words though about the "cameo appearance" in the movie of Lee Iacocca, whose consent was not obtained by the filmmakers, and who reportedly is quite displeased over having his film self on the receiving end of a bullet sailing arty slow-mo fashion right between his eyes. Iacocca, now 83, is more or less out of the public eye, but the car executive was a big deal folk hero in 1985. credited with saving Chrysler from doom. In 1985, there was widespread clamor for him to run for the presidency in 1988, and indeed he was one of the featured presidential candidate choices in President Elect: 1988 Edition, one of the very first computer games I owned. 

I had a good chuckle over the Iacocca interlude, thinking, wow Alan Moore had balls when in 1986, he dared depict the murder of one of America's then popular would-be presidents. I have since though skipped over to the pages showing the slay attempt on Adiran Veidt, and true enough, no Mr. Iacocca. All credit then to Snyder/Hayter/Tse, though the choice seems now less bold and more perverse. It still is though in harmony with the film's alternate history, which tries as much as possible to accomodate actual history. (again, those opening credits. Pure glory!)

I would say though that the Veidt assassination sequence in the film is better than it is in the book, as are some other sequences. Perhaps those like me who would have seen the film first before reading the comics may be well-positioned to advance the heresy that the movie is better than the graphic novel. (Giant squid?!) 

Francis M.

It's 1990, and you're 13/14. A casual music listener, stuck with what's mostly aired on WKC or WTM, no earning capacity yet to buy your own tapes at Odyssey. The FM airwaves are populated mostly with Top 40 hits from the U.S. or the U.K. What you are familiar with as Pinoy music -- Apo, Yoyoy Villame, Florante, Freddie Aguilar, Asin -- you can appreciate to varying degrees, but you feel no allegiance to that music, no sense it belongs to your generation. Even at that age, you feel them too jokey, too preachy, too slow, too folksy. And you are too young and too suburban to have yet waded through the great Pinoy rock of the 70s.

Francis Magalona steps in. You had known him as a juvenile matinee idol, one of many. Did some rapping on Loveli-Ness, sounding too slavish an imitation of the American product, with an accent too affected, so you hadn't bothered. Then his string of hits stream out. Gotta Let 'Cha Know - catchy. Cold Summer Nights - slick and suave. Mga Kababayan Ko! - colloquial, effusive, perhaps the last great burst of post-EDSA 1 Pinoy pride. The older folk hate it all -- rapping is not music, it's incomprehensible talking. You wedded in the mainstream you are just giddy. No Pinoy artist you have heard like him before, who sounded as young as you feel.

Years pass, you enter college, ride on the hipster bandwagon, develop a mild antipathy towards earnestness and the mainstream music scene. Mga Kababayan Ko! now sounds to you like Soviet-sponsored rap music -- just a hint of rebellion to let loose some steam, but not authentic enough to earn some serious street cred. But you never develop any disdain for Francis M. His music remains interesting throughout the years, even if painfully earnest at times. Occasionally, you argue with friends who have dismissively written him off as a pale white knock-off that he was a way more intriguing artist than meets the eye, than what his osmosis into the Eat Bulaga universe might seem to betray.

He died way too young, with kids way too young to lose a father. The internets will erupt with outpouring of grief from Filipinos around the world with a keener sense, a different sense of loss than I feel. I'm quite sad that we won't be hearing more of his art, and that a distinct voice from my youth had passed on.

• Francis M dead at 44 -- ABS-CBN News
• Leukemia-stricken Francis Magalona passes away at 44 -- GMA News

Tonya Harding Denounces President Barack H. Obama

Comedian Destroys Famed Cable Channel

It will be forever impossible to take CNBC seriously after watching this:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Some Fun Facts About Friendster, Circa 2009

For Slate, David Roth investigates Friendster circa 2009, as passe in America as Monica Denise Arnold. A useful article, especially if one were inclined to update Friendster's entry in Wikipedia with referenced sources. Surprising facts emerge:

• Friendster still attracts investors, receiving a $20 million cash infusion last August. 
  
  
• Friendster is still buggy, spam-infested and moribund in the United States (except for "Asian-Americans in California or gay men, for whom the site has become a popular dating network.") 
  
  
• Friendster is estimated to be as popular in Asia as Facebook and MySpace combined. Of 30 million unique visitors in December 2008, 28 million came from Asia. 
  
  
• Friendster is expanding operations in Singapore and the Philippines. In the Pinas, "90 percent of the Internet-enabled population has a Friendster page." 
  
  
• "More than 100,000 users still join Friendster daily..." I was at first shocked by the figure before I realized that this totalled only to around 36.5 million new users in a year. 
  
  
• Choice quote: "If you're in the Philippines and doing your social networking on Facebook, you're probably awfully lonesome." That's news to me. 
  

I myself logged on yesterday to my Friendster account for the first time in months. Thought about deleting my account, but figured why bother with blissful stasis. Good to learn from Slate that Filipinos are actively working to stimulate one sector of the American economy. 

Fil-Am Priest Touted as Next Superstar Chef

His name is Fr. Leo Patalinghug, once a breakdancing champion, and he is featured in a front-page story in today's Washington Post. Both The Food Network and PBS have plans of putting him on air, while there are a bunch of YouTubes of him (see below for his Tilapia with Caper Mustard Sauce over Angel hair Pasta). I myself prefer a priest who heals through cooking than the more generic "healing priest" types.

A Strange Incident I Witnessed

Just moments ago, I ordered some Chinese for take-out at the mall. I waited at the side of the counter where they released the orders, and soon enough the cooks told me my dish was ready. They shouted out to the cashier to come over and hand me my canned soda. The cashier runs over to the side of the counter where I stood, and bent down to open the chest where they kept the soda. As he was stooped over, foraging the chest, one of the cooks stands beside him, out of his line of sight, arms raised holding a plastic tray he was obviously intending to smash over the cashier's head. The cook had a weird smile. He noticed that I was looking at him, and we exchanged glances briefly before he proceeded to bonk the cashier on the head with the tray. The cashier staggered, regained his footing long enough to hand me my Sprite, then gave this I-am-going-to-kill-you look at the cook. The cook, as was his fellow cook, were laughing, but the cashier just kept on staring at them, murder in his eyes. So I left.

Moral: Practical jokes staged for the benefit of restaurant patrons are more or less ignored. 

How the Proposed Right of Reply Law May RUIN YOUR LIFE

You see Jackie Lou Blanco shopping for groceries, more or less ignored since it has been years, and notice that she has grown fat. So you arrive home, log on to Facebook, remember the sight of a more buxom Jackie Lou, and type in your status update: "I saw Jackie Lou Blanco at the grocery, and boy is she fat!" One of your friends clicks "like this", while another comments "hahaha! ang tagal ko nang hindi naririnig yung pangalang iyan!" And so your Facebook page remains for the next few hours until you spill cocoa on your rug and change your status update to something mundane like "I don't know how to clean a rug."

But for some reason, perhaps alerted by her kids or a favorite niece, Jackie Lou Blanco saw your Facebook status update about her. And she is mad -- I do pilates and bikram yoga and pay good money for a personal trainer! And the Right of Reply bill has been enacted into law.

Under the Right of Reply law, Jackie Lou Blanco has the right to demand that you cede your Facebook page to her, so she can post her defense to all the people who may have seen your earlier status update and concluded that she was now fat. If you refuse to let her write on your Facebook page, you will be fined around P10,000 pesos. Since Right of Reply requires that you allow Jackie Lou Blanco to publish her rebuttal on the same space where you published your controversial statement, you most probably will have to let her write your next status update: "Hi, this is Jackie Lou Blanco, and I would like to say that contrary to what you may have read from ______________, I am not really fat. I do pilates and bikram yoga and have an excellent personal trainer."

The hassle of dealing with Jackie Lou Blanco and her lawyers will likely invest only a few hours or days of your life, and irritated as you may have been, you decide to let it pass. Then weeks later, you see Spanky Rigor from T.O.D.A.S. on the street, screaming at a child beggar who made the mistake of asking him for money. You get mad at rude, cruel Spanky Rigor -- nobody however famous has the right to scream at a child. You want to let your friends know of the infamy of this Spanky Rigor -- to shame him with the truth in the limited capacity that you posses. You may even want to write a blog post about it. Then, you remember all the hassle you had to go through because of Right of Reply and Jackie Lou Blanco. You don't want to undergo the same experience just because of Spanky Rigor, whom you considered anyway way less funny than Frieda Fonda. So you let it go.

Weeks later, and you are royally pissed at your classmate Mike because he cheated in a class project. You confront Mike in a gentlemanly fashion, and he responds by flinging cold damp soil and moss at your face, screaming "Fuck you, retard!" You return home incensed, log on to Facebook, then start typing "I resent the fact that Mike cheated at our class project". Then you remember Right of Reply and Jackie Lou Blanco. Would Right of Reply apply to nobodies like Mike? You change the options of your Facebook account to make sure that only your friends could see your status updates, but you still aren't sure whether that will protect you so you call up your elder brother, now a hotshot junior associate in a Makati firm. Your kuya had to waste a lot of time researching on Right of Reply when you had your problems with Jackie Lou Blanco, so he does the prudent lawyer thing and tells you not to proceed with your intended status update. Disappointed, you delete your draft status update and write instead the enigmatic, "I am pissed!!!"

Since Mike cheated, his grades were high enough to make him valedictorian. Again, you are mad. You complain to the faculty by way of snail mail, but they ignore your complaint since Mike's Daddy promised to renovate the teacher's lounge. Injustice! Outrage! A Facebook status update will not merely do, you must write a blog post, create an online petition. The whole world must know of the craptitude of your school and the turd blossom tool that is Mike. Your kuya hisses, "Are you insane? Right of reply, right of reply! Napaka-liit na bagay lang iyan, hayaan mo na! Akala mo kung sino kang Woodward o Bernstein." That last reference is lost on you -- your brother was a really big nerd -- but the point gets across and you do nothing. On graduation day, as Mike is delivering his valedictory address, you stare at him, thinking "God/karma will get you someday!"

Valedictorian Mike gets the best jobs, meets the brightest people in the world, including evil scientists. He soon is ginormously wealthy and builds his own robot army, which invades first Poland, then France, and soon the world. Mankind, womankind and infantkind are enslaved by Mike, the Hitler of the Third Millenium. As you and your fellow slaves are hauling a two-ton marble slab to be used in the New Pyramids of Giza (20 times larger than the old ones!), your back stinging from the lash of the Tesla whip, you think, "If only I spoke up before. But that stupid Right of Reply..."

(God/karma eventually strikes back at Mike when his robot army becomes sentient and dissects him joint by joint. But that happens only in 2622 C.E. -- Mike having discovered the elixir against ageing and disease -- hundreds of years after your robot taskmaster miscalculates the power of its Tesla whip and decapitates you and the other members of Hauling Team #46775, including your kuya.)

Obama Helicopter Security Breached, Suspect From Iran Tagged

MSNBC reports that someone working for a defense contractor downloaded a peer-to-peer file sharing program, presumably to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop while at work. The unnamed defense contractor possesses "a file containing entire blueprints and avionics package" for President Obama's official helicopter (Marine One). Through the file sharing program, somebody in Iran was able to download that highly sensitive file, along with perhaps, an Axxo-certified copy of Air Force One. Yikes. 

President Obama currently has a fantastic approval rating of 67%. If America loves Obama so much, would it be willing to give up the internets?