Law Firms Dispense With Billable Hours

In the U.S. at least, according to the New York Times. Another change resulting from the current economic downturn.

Insert here your own uplifting/funny/appalling/conscience-boggling anecdote about billable hours.

Interesting question. Assuming an economic system involving the exchange of money for services remains impact once the recession/depression is over, will law firms be able to return to billable hours? This seems to be a paradigm unappealing to the public that has survived only because everybody does it.

SC Declares Ban on "Short Time" in Motels Unconstitutional

PDI:

The Supreme Court has declared unconstitutional a Manila ordinance banning “short time” admissions in motels, saying it violates the rights not only of motel owners but also of married couples.

The high court decision, penned by Associate Justice Dante Tinga, also overturned a Court of Appeals ruling that voided the original Manila regional trial court verdict that City Ordinance 7774 violated constitutional guarantees on personal liberty.

In its ruling, the high court said even if the Manila City government’s claims that motels had become dens of “prostitution, adultery and fornication” were true, banning short time admissions would curtail "legitimate sexual behavior among consenting married or consenting single adults, which is constitutionality protected.”

The full text of the decision (White Light Corp. v. City of Manila, G.R. No. 122846) is now posted at the Supreme Court website.

The Bacon Sausage Explosion

The internets is abuzz with a new meal that makes the Baconator abstemious  in comparison. Take 2 of bacon and 2 pounds Italian sausage. Interweave the bacon, layer in the Italian sausage, add in more cooked bacon and barbecue sauce:

roll it up then grill for about two hours until you have something like this:

The recipe (and more pictures) can be found here at BBQ Addicts. The recipe is also featured in today's New York Times. Of course, I shall never ever eat this dish.

Review: Australia (spoilers)

Baz Luhrmann's Australia strives to be the Outback Gone With The Wind to the point of strain. Like its predecessor, it has a pouty heroine, an iconoclastic hero, a war that leaves a city in flames, a Hamlet-like death toll, and horse drama. Unlike GWTW, it features as among its musical themes a Bach tune that is among the loveliest in the world, and which it unfortunately imbues with carnal meaning. 

And there is the magic. Not the ala-peanut-butter-and-sandwiches variety, the real deal. The sort that freezes stampeding cattle mid-snort, that explains seeming teleportation. The proposition that Aborigines were gifted with magical skills deprived from other peoples is pretty much take-it-or-leave-it. Taking it won't necessarily lead you down the path of fruitless alchemy, it could simply mean that you are willing to co-exist with the myths of Australia that have sustained its people for 99.5% of the years that land has been inhabited by humans. 

The same could be said about the work of Baz Luhrmann -- take it or leave it. One person who definitely said "leave it" was my dad, who Shakespeare in hand, screamed at Leonardo di Caprio, "My sword! How can your gun be a sword!" I've been much more charitable. Cartoonish as Simply Ballroom may have been, it had a supremely winning egalitarian spirit notwithstanding its toffs vs. the hoi polloi theme. Moulin Rouge was less endearing, but it had life and verve, and made the oft-forgotten point that pop culture of the 1890s was not much different from the 1990s. 

Unlike Luhrmann's earlier films, Australia has an additional layer of critic-proof. It is, ostensibly, the embodiment of the nation of Australia, its history and culture. I did not get the sense that it was designed for an audience outside of Australia, and that motive makes it harder to render a judicious critical assessment. Its like critiquing an Independence Day parade. Judge ye the costumes tacky, the marching band unsynchronized, the fireworks pallid, yet the spirit of patriotism and the familiarity with how the symbols align with indigenous memes do not readily translate into an aesthetic measure. A Western secular humanist may scoff how easily Australia accomodates the possibility of magic, yet to mock that is to mock the historic tradition that informs that plot point. 

I obviously have little working knowledge with the Australian way of life, yet what I do know left me ultimately pleasantly disposed to Australia. Notice how very little of our stereotypes of Australia finds its way into the film. No koalas, dingos or emus, and the kangaroo sighting is humorously fleeting. No boomerangs, no "mates!", no Waltzing Matilda, no Ned Kelly, no Paul Hogan or Yahoo Serious. 

Luhrmann celebrates a different Australia than we are familiar with, one heavily influenced by the Aboriginal people, their culture and their tension with the white settlers whose descendants we now primarily associate with the country. The history of race in that country the last 200 years is sad, and one which threatens to despoil the foundation story of the modern Australia. I think Australia exhibits genius in proposing a workable narrative for Australians to reconcile with their modern past, one which is more liberal, unpatronizing and inclusionist than anticipated. Luhrmann's vision of Australia may be more aspirational than what conditions on the ground allow, yet it is highly likeable. If it takes root, perhaps Luhrmann can be deployed to the Middle East and work his magic over there. 

(Australia. Directed by Baz Luhrmann. Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, David Wenham, Bryan Brown (!), David Ngoombujarra and Brandon Walters)

Starbucks to Stop Brewing Decaf After Noon

I take the Letterman view that decaffeinated coffee is useless warm brown water. So the news that Starbucks will cut costs by not continuosly brewing decaf after noon means little to me. Though I guess it might spark an outcry from those who rely on decaf for health purposes. This is just the beginning folks of the sacrifices expected following the worst financial crisis of this millenium. 

The magic of capitalism -- I see the less ubiquitous coffee chains perhaps compensating by advertising loud and proud that yes, they do serve hot decaf after twelve noon. 

An irrelevant thought. I would have expected that our local Starbucks would have wisened up by now and started serving spaghetti, just like McDo, KFC and Burger King. For nothing complements the rhythmic stylings of Miss Ella Fitzgerald better than spaghetti slurpings.

Review: Yes Man

15 minutes in, and one can already rattle off the smart-alecky yet sensible commands to test the resolve of Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) to say yes to everything. Eat dog feces! Strangle the first old lady you see. It takes about an hour and twenty before the film asserts the lesson that the Yes! lesson is pretty dumb. This it does, after calculating that audiences are too stupid to absorb ethics lessons fashioned in socio-political settings, by contextualizing the dillemma in the language of "love".

That said, Zooey Deschanel rocks in more ways than one. Her romantic coupling with Jim Carrey invites Woody Allenish comparisons. 

Christopher de Leon Praying for Oscar Success of 'Slumdog Millionaire'

The early word is that Slumdog Millionaire will not be showing in Philippine cinemas, so its cultural impact here may be minimal, even if it wins the Best Picture Oscar. I've yet to see the film, but I do know that its framing device is the once popular game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire (now defunct in the Philippines). 

It would have been nice if Slumdog became a box-office hit in the Philippines and swayed television executives to revive Who Wants... Trivia contests are among the few activities I have some skill in. The premiere of Who Wants... back in the early noughts led me to reasonable fantasies for such prized luxuries as a Playstation 2, a 32" television with Picture-in-Picture, and a DVD player. I honed my thumb-mashing skills for the Fastest Finger First preliminaries. I practiced enunciating words which I was visually familiar with but never had any context to appropriately use in conversation (e.g., Tegucigalpa). I had verbally contracted with my lifelines. I contemplated shaving my head for my appearance on the then-functional IBC 13. 

Obviously, I never got on the show. I stopped counting the number of times I filled the coffers of the show's producers by dialling the non-toll free number, and answering correctly the questions for the preliminary qualifier. My calendar was dotted with times of days that had been reserved for my studio appearance just in case. After my first dozen or so calls resulted in nothing, I reasoned that I was being ignored because I was calling through my SMART line, Globe being the official sponsor of Who Wants... So for the next two dozen or so calls, I would walk 2/3rds of a kilometer to a desolate Globe pay phone, slowly reciting my name and circumstances as the chill of dusk started to descend. After a few months, I had to start focusing for my bar review so I called only about three times more before convincing myself I could earn that one million through hard work as a lawyer. I was wrong. 

Serious Pinoy trivia buffs -- the sort who do not want to degrade themselves in public by having to do the papaya dance or shout inane slogans with fists clenched in the air -- should have a rooting interest in Slumdog as a possible gateway for the return of relatively sober quiz shows in the Philippines. 

My 2009 Fearless Oscar Forecast

I've barely watched any movies in 2008, so I've seen almost none of the films nominated for whatever Oscar category (all the nominations here). But baselessly I predict anyway:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director: Danny Boyle

Best Orig. Screenplay: WALL*E (Andrew Stanton & Jim Reardon)

Best Adapted Screenplay: Frost/Nixon (Peter Morgan)

Best Actor: Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon (would have been Mickey Rourke, until he defended Dubya)

Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader (award refused in favor of Ricky Gervais)

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight.

Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis, Doubt

Best Animated Film: WALL*E

Art Direction: Burt & Solfo, Benjamin Button

Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire

Costume Design: Michael O'Connor, The Duchess

Feature Documentary: Man on Wire

Documentary Short: Smile Pinki

Editing: Chris Dickens, Slumdog Millionaire

Foreign Language: The Class

Makeup: Elizalde & Floutz, Hellboy II

Original Score: A.J.A.R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire

Original Song: Peter Gabriel, "Down to Earth", WALL*E

Animated Short: Presto

Live Action Short: The Pig

Sound Editing: Richard King, The Dark Knight

Sound Mixing: Meyers, Semanick & Burtt, WALL*E

Visual Effects: Nelson, Snow, Sudick, & Mahan, Iron Man.

I'm confident in at least a 50% success rate, perhaps even 60%. I probably should watch these films first before predicting, but what the hell.

And I really really hope that they show Slumdog Millionaire in Manila before the Oscars. Because obeying the law sometimes really sucks.

"Take Two" for Obama's Presidential Oath

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Obama retook his oath of office Wednesday after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed while delivering it at Tuesday's inauguration.

Roberts administered the oath the second time as well, according to the White House.The move was aimed at dispelling any confusion that might arise from Tuesday's take -- in which "faithfully" was said out of sequence -- and erase any question that Obama is legally the president.

"We believe that the oath of office was administered effectively and that the president was sworn in appropriately yesterday," White House counsel Greg Craig said in a written statement."But the oath appears in the Constitution itself. And out of an abundance of caution, because there was one word out of sequence, Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath a second time."

A development that bodes well, as it shows that Obama is serious about obeying the lawgetting things right, no matter how inconvenient and irritating doing so would be.

This news also adds to context to why Obama looked so stern earlier in the day (video here) when Vice-President Biden joked about Chief Justice Roberts' error.

When Animals Attack World Leaders

It has been 42 years since a human world leader was eaten by another animal (Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt, 1967, shark). It is a sign of human progress that the percentage of people who have died from assaults by carnivorous animals has significantly declined from, let's say, 10,000 BCE. It is also an indication that more is desired in equality in the distribution of wealth that more of those who tend to be eaten alive by other animals tend to be from depressed rural areas near wildlife areas.

Former French President Jacques Chirac was mauled by his white Maltese poodle Sumo (see photograph above). Amazingly, the injuries are apparently serious enough to send Mr. Chirac to the hospital. "'My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks", Mrs. Chirac asserts.  The Daily Mail naughtily teases that "[t]he former French First Lady did not reveal where on his body Chirac was bitten."

This story gets even weirder. According to the Daily Mail report, the poodle Sumo was already being treated with anti-depressants even before its assassination attempt on the former French President. That indicates an admirable level of patience on the part of the Chiracs that many outside the Western World will find difficult to fathom. At the same time, yes once again, the rich are different from you or me. 

Should Obama Re-take the Oath...

Some respected American legal scholars such as Boston University's Jack Beerman and Georgetown's Jonathan Turley have opined that Barack Obama should re-do the presidential oath, if only to preclude all questions on the validity of the flubbed oath ("will execute the Office of President of the United States faithfully" in lieu of "will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States") he took in front of Chief Justice Roberts. They may have a point. The issue might not necessarily be whether the oath he took was substantially the same as that prescribed in the U.S. Constitution -- they clearly are. The key question instead would be whether Obama swore to the presidential oath ordained by the Constitution in words that were strung in a particular order.

A retaking of the oath would be embarrassing, especially since the Obama administration has cultivated the mien of competence. However, I think it can be spun to his advantage. The oath can be retaken in a low key White House ceremony. The White House can then announce that Obama had decided to retake the oath, consistent with his philosophy of strict adherence to the rule of law, no matter how inconvenient. That decision would advertise the administration's utmost prudence in questions of proceeding in a legally valid manner, and its willingness to promptly correct mistakes when detected since its primary allegiance is to do things correctly without regard to possible pitfalls in public relations. Such a decision would also demonstrate Obama's humility, a trait which he is sometimes accused of lacking.

On Obama's Message of Forgiveness, and Whether It Should Be Rejected

Barack Obama's inaugural address was eloquent, well above-average in terms of literary merit of political oratory. It was wanting in the sort of aphorisms that capture the new wave in seven words or less (Think Lincoln's "with malice towards none and charity toward all", FDR's "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself", and JFK's "ask not what your country can do for you..."), and for that embarrassing reason, it might not endure in the popular consciousness. Yet taken as a whole, it strikes a tone resonant with majority of Americans seeking a new way forward without being hamstrung by the ideological battles of the recent past.

I appreciate some of the subtler messages in Obama's address. He makes a learned reference to America being a young country and implies it is time for the nation to shed its childish ways. The connection may be more rhetoric than logic, but it is useful to remember that American civilization is only 200+ years old, a teenager compared to the 1000-year old English, the 3000 years of pharaonic Egypt, or even the 1,200 years of the Minoans. America may be the world's only superpower right now, but that in itself is no assurance that it or its humane and democratic ideals will endure. At the same time, there is no impediment for America to continue to evolve and improve on its imperfections. 

I have long suspected that the nascent anti-Americanism of the well-read Filipinos of generations older than me lies in their proximate experience with a much less enlightened America of just 40-50 years ago -- the America that legally sanctioned apartheid in its confines; that overthrew democratically elected governments that were inconvenient to its Cold War designs; that imposed on us parity rights that were plainly inequitable and disrespectful of our sovereignty. To the older generations familiar with that America, the notion of American democracy and equanimity would have been rank hypocrisy. The significant advances in U.S. democracy the last 40 years, especially in the area of civil rights and liberties, engendered in main by the Kennedy and Johnson administrations and by the Supreme Court of Chief Justice Earl Warren, have rendered the American dream more acceptable, even desirable, for those outside its shores. One can draw up a laundry list of the United States' extant flaws, especially following the last 8 years. It would be irrational though to deny America's capacity to improve for the better, as signified by the election to the presidency of a person of color whom, during the lifetime of our grandparents, could have faced mortal dangers in parts of his country for appearing too "uppity". 

One line from Obama's inaugural is already starting to resonate in many parts of the world, including in the Philippines. "To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." I suspect the line was designed with people like Mugabe of Zimbabwe or the Castros of Cuba in mind, but it will strike a chord to all people of the world who believe they live in a repressive and/or corrupt regime. (already, it has been cited by our own political opposition) The line is genius in conception, particularly for the purpose of rebranding America in Obama cloth. With one stroke, it casts Obama's America with the lot of the world's oppressed, and that is significant goodwill building. 

It is the second clause though that may give cause for pause. "...that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." It is a concession clearly borne out of the realpolitik which the Bush-Cheney neocons rejected as they unveiled their grand design for Middle East democracy. In terms of defending the world under threat of decimation from rogue  nuclear weapons and weapons of mass destruction, dialogue with reprehensible world leaders is a wiser approach. At the same time, it may ultimately defy the demands of those oppressed people for internal justice -- never mind if their leaders did later "unclench their fists" to the satisfaction of America. 

There is an interesting parallel with those calls from within the American liberal-left for the prosecution of errant Bush administration officials, if not Bush-Cheney themselves, for their various affronts to civil liberties during their governance. Obama apparently is disinclined to sound that call, and it could very well be that he may choose to stand athwart such a movement in the belief that all the trials and the jailings may impede the way forward in a time of dire economic crisis. 

People I Especially Wish Had Lived to See This Moment

Ray Charles, Cesar Chavez, Harold Washington, Bobby Kennedy, Katharine Hepburn, Nina Simone, Hubert Humphrey, Paul Wellstone, Lyndon Johnson, Hunter S. Thompson, Douglas Adams, David Halberstam, Red Holzman, Mildred Loving, Richard Loving, Tupac Shakur, Jackie Robinson, Pat Tillman, Alonzo Fields, Naguib Mahfouz, Artie Shaw, Mahalia Jackson, Kurt Vonnegut, William F. Buckley, Richard Pryor, Red Auerbach, Terry Sanford, Andrei Sakharov, Paul Newman, Charlton Heston, Lean Alejandrino, Studs Terkel, Andrew Olmstead, Dizzy Gillespie, Bayard Rustin, Margaret Truman, Johnny Cash, John Lennon, Mike Royco, Ella Fitzgerald, Ralph Ellison, Marlon Brando, Dolores Stephens Feria, Ann Dunham, Barack Obama, Sr., Stanley Dunham, Madelyn Dunham, Lolo Soetoro, Fraser Robinson, Thurgood Marshall, William J. Brennan, Lewis Powell, Barbara Jordan, Sergio de Mello, Tip O'Neil, James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, Michael Schwerner, Carolyn Goodman, Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash, Oscar Romero, Tom Bradley, Dexter Gordon, Philip Hart, Rosa Parks, Millicent Fenwick, John Spencer, Allen Ginsburg, Barry Goldwater, Emmett Till, Tom Lantos, Stanley Kramer, Ossie Davis, Steve Gilliard, Alistair Cooke, Peter Jennings, Esther Rolle, Helen Suzman, Henry Fonda, Tom Bradley, Shirley Chisholm, Joseph Bernardin, Bernie Mac, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Norman Mailer, Richard Roundtree, Curt Flood, Edward Said, R.W. Apple, Charles Wheeler, Frank M. Johnson, Jesse Owens, Viola Liuzzo, Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Hitherto Unmentioned Historic Nature of the George W. Bush Presidency

George W. Bush has made history by being the first ever President of the United States of America whose parents both outlived the presidency of their child. 

Tom Cruise Childhood Fantasy Exposed as Physically Impossible and Violative of the Ten Commandments

“I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him,” Cruise, 46, said. “As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, ‘why didn’t someone stand up and try to stop it?

I normally wouldn't link to Fox News, but its account of the interview where this came from is pitch perfect in tone. 

The Filipino-Obama Connection, Had We Pursued the Sabah Claim

The Philippine claim to Sabah is more or less moribund now, to the benefit of stable ASEAN relations, but it was a dramatic international issue in the 1960s during the Macapagal and Marcos presidencies. Had it prospered then, there would have been interesting, though ultimately trivial consequences to the Philippines arising from the election of Barack Obama.

They center on Konrad Ng, husband of Maya Soetoro-Ng, Obama's half-sister who grew up with him and was the only sibling from his mother's side. He was born in 1974 in Canada to Howard and Joan Ng, immigrants from Malaysia who were of Chinese descent. The Malaysians have taken pride in Obama's Malaysia connection.

It turns out that both Howard and Joan Ng were both born in Sabah, making them, in the belief of the Sultan of Sulu, his former subjects. If the Philippines was successful in claiming Sabah in the 1960s, then we would be talking about Barack Obama's Filipino-Canadian brother-in-law.

I am so certain that if Barack Obama had a Pinoy brother-in-law, our local press coverage of his election and inauguration would have been overboard and silly. But for all legal purposes, he doesn't, and Filipinos desiring an indigenous Obama connection will have to settle for Charice Pempengco.

The World Awaits Obama's Silver Tongue

Political speeches, including inaugural addresses, are normally tiresome and pedantic affairs. They are usually met with justifiable apathy by the general public. Barack Obama has proved himself different so far, and there are several reasons why I, a Filipino citizen whom Mr. Obama has no obligation to pander to, am eagerly anticipating the speech tomorrow night.

Obama writes well. Great writing for me is not simply defined by mastery of language, but also by the keenness and honesty of the author's insights. The quality of Mr. Obama which I think makes him stand well above the norm is that of self-awareness. That trait is rare among politicians, and is one useful criterion to separate the wheat from the chaff among writers and other artists.

I jumped onto the Obama bandwagon after reading his autobiographical memoir Dreams of My Father, which was published in 1995, before he jumped into politics. Here's an excerpt, describing his experience at a safari on his first visit to Kenya:

[I] thought to myself: This is what Creation looked like. The same stillness, the same crunching of bone. There in the dusk, over that hill, I imagined the first man stepping forward,, naked and rough-skinned, grasping a chunk of flint in his clumsy hand, no words yet for the fear, the anticipation, the awe he feels at the sky, the glimmering knowledge of his own death. If only we could remember that first common step, that first common word -- that time before Babel.

Contrast that with this self-explanatory excerpt from the autobiography of Kirk Douglas, The Ragman's Son.

I arrived on this earth in a beautiful gold box delicately carved with fruits and flowers and suspended from heaven by thin silver strands.

I identify with Obama. Generation X Jones is starting to take over the world's governments. The new President of Russia is an afficionado of Deep Purple while the new Prime Minister of Thailand likes the Arctic Monkeys. Obama for his part listens to Javanese flute music and Jay-Z. He will probably be the politician of my lifetime whose tastes run approximately closest to my own, and I would want to hear out anything the man says.

Then there's Jon Favreau, Obama's main speechwriter. A few years younger than I am, he would more than Obama be able to switch with ease from the ironic affectations many of us prefer as a default stance, to the occasional sincere outbursts whenever called for. The fact that Obama's inaugural speech will pass through someone that young signifies even more that this is the sort of speech I would be proud to have written. And Mr. Favreau did an unexpectedly great job too with Iron Man.¹

I'm a sucker for great historical speeches. One of the relatively few books in my childhood library was a tome I knew was learned because it had a black felt cover, on which the title was embossed in gold lettering. It was called Treasury of Great Speeches or something to that effect. Compiled therein were "great speeches" beginning with Pericles' orations and ending with Lyndon Johnson's remarks after JFK's assassination. I read and reread that book at an impressionable age and came away with an impression that great oratory had a more vital role in society than it actually did.² I still could not shake away the notion that great speeches are seminal moments in history, even if logic tells me they are not.

In my life, I have contemporaneously heard only two speeches that would pass muster with Treasury of Great Speeches. Both of them are by Obama. The first was his "Yes We Can" speech delivered the night of the New Hampshire primary, an oration that instantly struck me as great yet which was unduly ignored until the will.i.am mash-up went viral. Even greater was his Philadelphia race speech -- magisterially above-the-fray yet still a very honest assessment of race relations. Even if the political purpose of that speech was eventually mooted, it outlined a judicious and viable path for America to move forward on the race issue.

I'll be the first to admit that the substance of Obama's speech will likely be of little relevance to the Philippines and its citizens (though he does have that capacity to pleasantly surprise). My own expectation though is that universal desire to watch an artist performing at the height of his craft.

Obama's speech will be carried live on GMA-7, whose coverage will be lead by Arnold Clavio. I guess you could also watch it on CNN.

---

¹Yes, yes, as Wikipedia states with authority, "Favreau [the speechwriter] is not related to the actor and director Jon Favreau". I suppose that the two Favreaus are at the onset of an epic lifetime battle as to which Jon will be remembered by posterity. So far, Favreau the director is winning out. (not even a "Jon Favreau" disambiguation page in Wikipedia)

²I was likewise misled by that book into thinking that Chauncey Depew was actually an important figure in American history.

Liah Soetoro, Allegedly Barack Obama's Stepsister

It appears that the Indonesian media has been reporting on Liah Soetoro (pictures here), who claims to be Barack Obama's stepsister, she supposedly having been adopted by Obama's Indonesian stepfather Lolo two years before he married Ann Dunham, Obama's mom. Seemingly this was not some sister locked up in the attic, for Ms. Liah says: "I will bring along mementos belonging to me and Barry", referring to her forthcoming trip to Washington D.C. for the inauguration, a fish-out-of-the-water moment replete with sitcom potential.

The Jakarta Post now reports, perhaps definitively, that Ms. Liah is a fake.

"This Lia is definitely a fraud," Maya Soetoro-Ng, Barack Obama's younger half sister, the daughter of Lolo Soetoro and Ann Dunham, said.

"I have no idea who she is and there's no stepdaughter and no one was ever adopted into the family formally or informally that I am aware of."

Sonny Trisulo, Maya Soetoro's cousin, said Liah Soetoro was not a member of the Soetoro family.

"I don't know why people make such claims," Sonny said on SCTV television.

Sonny said that only five members of the family would attend Obama's ceremony, and Liah was not one of those people.

It isn't surprising that characters like these would come out of the woodwork. It probably would have mattered more if Obama were ascending into a monarchy and lines of succession would have to be drawn up. Perish the thought if Ms. Liah, a seemingly non-descript housewife from Indonesia, were suddenly thrust to the leadership of the United States, a King Ralph for the Third World set. Though assuming the American monarchy followed primogeniture, fat chance.

I wouldn't be surprised though if this guy turned out to be Barack Obama's long-lost twin brother from the Philippines (Yes yes, how could Kenyan-American Obama have a Filipino twin brother. Just trust in the "Yes we can! spirit)

Context Schmontext...A Funny Headline from Nytimes.com

Though it probably would be funny mainly if you had just emerged from a 48-hour coma.

On the Greatness of jkrums' Photo from the Hudson River Plane Crash

I think this is one of the great photographs thus far from the 21st century. It was captured by a passenger on one of the first ferries at the scene of today's plane crash at the Hudson River, of US Airways Flight 1549, where improbably, nobody died or was seriously injured. (Click here to see it in full resolution at the twitter page of its photographer, jkrums, also featured at New York Magazine) The depicted incident itself is remarkable beyond belief, but the photograph is especially haunting, due to what perhaps is accidentally moody chiaroscuro. The dirt on the lens complements the apparent level of distress the passengers and crew of the aircraft had just gone through.

At the same time, the photograph evokes a lie. The event was ultimately heroic, yet the picture does not exude any sheen of triumphalism or glee. In fact, my first thoughts when I saw the photo was that it seemed to capture an otherworldly glimpse at a ghastly scenario -- that these passengers had died in the crash and their spirits were now queuing up for transport into the afterlife with a blackened sea looming in their foreground. The photograph thankfully depicts the very opposite, but that disjunction between fact and image adds to the complexity of the work.

An Open Letter to MAXXX TV Channel

Dear MAXXX,

The Ricky Gervais BBC comedy series is called Extras. It is not, as your advertisements blare out, The Extras. In the remote possibility that the show had been renamed The Extras for the Filipino viewing audience, what is the sense of that? What sort of ethnic, cultural or linguistic barrier would be shattered with the addition of "The"?

Point taken, but how trivial a point, you may chortle. In the grand sum of things -- including the worldwide financial crisis, the global war on terror, and the problem of graft and corruption in the Philippines -- not much. But it affects your trustworthiness, your credibility, your reliance on the belief that your viewers, whenever they think of MAXXX TV, do not blurt, "hey, that channel kinda sucks because it does not tell us the correct name of its shows." If you build up a general reputation of bungling, advertisers would be hesitant of entrusting their product to your airwaves. 

I do not wish to diminish the plaudits you deserve for airing in the Philippines Extras and other shows of similar orientation, especially since there hardly is any mass commercial demand for them here. That you are willing to cater to what locally is a niche market is laudable. But that niche market, somewhat nerdy as it is, prefers that you refer to the show as Extras and not The Extras. The correct name of the show is verifiable via Google or by watching any of its episodes. The apparent inability to counter-check what is the name of the show is difficult to fathom and calls into question the level of competence of the people who did the ad and the people who approved the ad.

Or maybe it is simply endemic of a larger problem with Philippine television networks -- that they simply do not care about the programs they air, and by transitivity, the viewers who watch their shows. That perception would explain many matters, such as the lack of originality or quality of many local TV programs, or the apathy over the hour and minute when those programs be scheduled to broadcast. I have utterly no knowledge about the mass media professional culture in the Philippines, and it could very well be that the standards which you practice are just at par with the rest of the industry. But really, is there any blade-like pendulum that would bisect your network executives should they dare break the mold and exhibit a higher level of proficiency in your business?

Television, with its slew of skillfully misleading advertisements, is hardly the medium from which absolute accuracy is demandable. Yet viewers are human, and they do not like to learn they have been deceived. The Extras instead of Extras is a most minor deceit, but those things build up and I'm certain you do not like to be tagged in the public domain as "that incompetent network". Airing Extras is undoubtedly to your credit, and the minimal cost of saying "Extras" will not diminish your goodwill.

Very truly yours.

The Nativity Cross Only Goes So Far

RIP Ricardo Montalban... Fred Ward is now the only villain from The Naked Gun trilogy who remains alive, Robert Goulet, Kathleen Freeman and Anna Nicole Smith having predeceased Montalban. (Technically, O.J. Simpson was a hero, or at least, the hero's aide-de-camp in those films.)

Patrick McGoohan, star of The Prisoner, likewise died today. I've seen only around one or two episodes of his most iconic show (most interesting), so I remember him most as Edward Longshanks in Braveheart.

The Oldest Movie Ever Made (14 October 1888)

Yes, it's only two seconds long.

When in a snarkier mood, one can critique the idiotic plot, the lazy acting, the slapdash mise-en-scene. You can gather up your college buds and film a frame-by-frame remake or supply its deleted scenes for posterity on YouTube. Yet whenever I see Roundhay Garden Scene, embarrassing awe swells in me. We will never see the actual strides of real people that had occurred prior to this moment. 

One of the actors seen in the film, Sarah Whitley, actually died ten days after the film was shot at the age of 72. You thus have witnessed the moving image of somebody who was born in 1816 - or 45 years before Jose Rizal was born - and who died 8 years before Rizal died. (as far as we know, Rizal was never caught on film) The director himself, Louis Le Prince, mysteriously vanished and presumably died in 1890. One hundred nineteen years ago. Not exactly the Age of Dinosaurs or Torquemada, but the age span that surrounds Roundhay Garden Scene is still inspiring. I'm not really a fan of Roger Ebert, but one thing he wrote had always struck me. To paraphrase, the difference between humans and other animals in the planet is the capacity of humans to take interest in events that took place before they were born. I'm not sure exactly why Ebert said that, but I've always liked that particular distinction.

One might wish that the first motion picture ever made would have depicted an event of greater consequence, or even of greater clarity. The fact that it was this trivial nonsensical moment that became the first ever movie highlights the innate democratic nature of accidents. 

Ramon "Bong" Revilla, Jr., 15th President of the Philippines

The Inquirer, with news that makes us somehow more accepting of Manny Pacquiao's intended political career:

MANILA, Philippines -- Senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla is being considered as standard bearer of the ruling Lakas-Christian Muslim Democrats, a party official said Tuesday.

xxx

[Ray Roquero, executive director of Lakas] said that Revilla has a good chance in the presidential race given his “star appeal.” xxx Before this, Roquero disclosed that Revilla has expressed his desire to run for vice president.

Scoff at your peril. Among the grave challenges facing our country in the 21st century is how to take advantage of the rapid technological growth surrounding us, and it would be comforting to have a President able to manipulate a mecha:

Magnitude 5.1 Earthquake Hits Luzon

A magnitude 5.1 earthquake struck Luzon less than an hour ago, at 3:28 pm, Philippine Standard Time. The epicenter was around 50 kilometers west of Dagupan, or 200 kilometers northwest from Manila. No online reports yet, but it has been reported on AM radio as of this time.

I myself didn't feel the quake in Manila, but my officemates did and there was momentary pause in the daily work routine. The Black Nazarene procession is ongoing, and I don't know if the participants felt anything. I hope not, that procession had always seemed like a stampede waiting to happen. It seems like the epicenter is near where the 1990 Luzon earthquake struck, but I of course can't tell for sure.

On Never Ever Eating the Baconator Ever Again

The thing with blogging, you can publicly commit to one of those brash rash promises at the expense of greater shame come the inevitable moment when you break your word. Earlier today, I ate my first ever Wendy's Baconator sandwich, a product of apparent notability it actually has its own Wikipedia entry (not notable really, though that debate came out on the wrong side). This is one of those moments where lying in public redounds to the public good, but I cannot in good conscience say anything about the Baconator except that it was yummytasticabulous each and every bite into that crunch embraced by lovingly soft soft bun.

Trained food technologists there must be at Wendy's, the Baconator is not as myocardial infarction inducing as my own previous excursion into bacon-beef gastronomy, where the chest-tightening sensation was a necessary evil. The Baconator itself is probably an experience that can be worked off by two hours of cardio at the gym (or at least I hope so). Still, midway through the bliss of my own inaugural sandwich, I took that peculiarly Irish Catholic path of swearing an oath never ever to eat another Baconator for the rest of my life. Any lawyer will tell you that oaths or affirmations uttered by mouths half-full are void ab initio, but I hopefully am serious out of this pledge. I don't need another addiction in my life.

Do try the Baconator at least once in your life. Afterwards, it really depends on the values you deem most vital in life.

The Ten Greatest Car Crashes in Movie History

The Vulture Blog at New York Magazine has come out with a slideshow of what it perceives as the 10 Greatest Car Crashes in Movie History. Their surprising but rather obvious pick at Number 1, the masse destruction en scene from Final Destination 2, shown here (warning - full of fake movie violence):

Now I've got a story about Final Destination 2. The first and only time I've seen the film was in 2006, while on a Victory Liner bus travelling from Baguio to Cubao. Of course, showing Final Destination 2 on a bus ride through hundreds of kilometers of highway is almost as bad as showing the first Final Destination as an in-flight movie. I doubt there was any deliberate irony on the part of the bus line in this particular movie choice, but I kid you not, the passengers on my bus were screaming over this scene, and at later scenes in the film was well. Though we did arrive safely at our destination.

Another story about Le Cinema du Victory Liner. Once, they played a film that started off with no titles, only scenes from some mountain range in Afghanistan and the guerillas holed up in those mountains in resistance against the Soviet Red Army. As the characters started emoting in subtitled passion, I thought, great, Rambo 3. It turned out to be a heartfelt drama, presumably Russian, about the effects of the Russian invasion of Afghanistan on the country's rural folk, as far as I could tell during the 15 minutes or so I stayed awake. Kudos to Victory Liner for going against the Hollywood grain.

List of the 500 Most Common Passwords

Each of the 500 most common passwords named in the list has been used hundreds of thousands of times. So if you've thought yourself clever using "qwertyui" (#425) all these years, you are only the seven hundred thousandth most clever person in the world. #1 is "123456", while #500 is "albert". Click here to see the rest of the list.

But For One Word, The Headline That Would Have Doomed the World

Commissioner Gordon is Dead at 84

Not Gary Oldman, who bless-his-soul lives on to spout more musings that delight every right-winger's heart. Pat Hingle died. He was one of those very familiar faces in Hollywood movies in the last 30 years or so. His best known role, as Commissioner Gordon in the Burton-Schumacher Batman films, was hardly immortal (though his "acting" during that scene when he was being entranced by Poison Ivy was the-gaffer-must-have-been-howling-on-the-set-floor bad).

But Hingle was a good actor, responsible for at least one performance that should live through the ages -- as the terrifying bookie Bobo Justus in The Grifters, the film that proved to the world that oranges are not as benign as they seem (see 3:00-5:33).

In the course of writing this post, I learned that the still-living Michael Gough, who played Alfred the Butler in the Burton-Schumacher Batmans, is now 4 years shy of 100 years old. Imagine if the Schumacher Batmans were massive box-office hits, causing that particular franchise and Mr. Gough to soldier on through an array of Batmans and Robins as of 2009. What the world needs now is another George Burns.

At Last, the Simon Schama Spoof SNL Shall Surely Stymie

Having assimilated virtually every hour Simon Schama has presented on television, I found this most hilarious. 

Presenting the Next American Idol?

I started blogging 365 days ago today (here's that first post), the date chosen for cheap symbolic effect. I was also quite drunk on port as I composed that first entry. This time, the whelming feeling that overcomes me is fatigue and pain. Yesterday, I bought a new computer table -- one of those DIY Ikea-by-way-of-China deals. The instructions were entirely visual, and by around Step 5, I realized that they had left out a drawing or two. Within 5 hours, I had assembled a desk only Homer Simpson could praise. A part or two is missing, the keyboard slide and a drawer uninstallable. My brother-in-law tells me it is necessary to drill in a few holes, a fact unillustrated by that now half-torn, now drenched in sweat derelict visual guide. My fingertips are blackened and swelling, and my right palm is wounded. Happy new year to you too.

On to pleasantness. I've always had a weakness for spoilers for reality TV. American Idol begins in two weeks, and the spoiler sites have once again printed reasonably informed lists of the possible semi-finalists and their online presences. One link struck me, a YouTube vid of a supposed semi-finalist whom, is promised, will be one of the stars of the next season. Based on this clip, there's no chance in hell he'll win, but its a goofily trippy cover of one of my favorite songs of the last few years: