Adolf Hitler and Predictive Texting

Every Nokia phone I've had since 2001 has the word "Hitler" stored in its English dictionary. "Hitler" thus emerges as a word option for predictive texting. I could not for the life of me fathom in what possible context could "Hitler" be used in text messaging. There are no countries, towns, streets or landmarks named after Hitler, so nobody will have the need to convey, "Meet me at Hitler Square". "Hitler", in reference to the German Fuhrer himself, will have virtually no plausible usable contexts in communications with family, friends and professional contacts. (If you receive a text message saying, "I hate Hitler!", the only sober response could be "of course you do". Receive an SMS saying, "I love Hitler!", and its time to throw your phone into the nearest well or river.)

I will not pretend to remember what message I was composing when I learned that uncomfortable truth. I do remember though testing the names of other World War II leaders, wondering if the inclusion of Hitler was out of some desired historical equanimity. Roosevelt was in from the beginning, but Churchill made it only beginning with the Nokia 6600. On the other hand Mussolini has been excluded thus far from the Nokia dictionary.

Last night, I was with iPhoned friends and we ran the iPhone through the Hitler test. True enough, "Hitler" emerged as an option in the iPhone dictionary. Even stranger, so did "Mussolini". Perhaps Apple concluded that if we must include the preeminent fascist dictator, we might as well include all of them -- an evenhanded attitude that Nokia has yet to show.

One might find reason to be morally outraged over Hitler being in the Nokia dictionary. For me, it sets me speculating on what possible mindset frames the people who select the words worthy for inclusion in predictive texting -- these God of words tasked with judging which few words from the English language are worthy for the convenience of the right hand that composes text messages.

E-HEADS REUNION: The Second Set Glorious Mystery

Reality's intrusions on the Eraserheads have been severe. Squabbling had led to their break-up and dampened hopes of a reunion. When the reunion concert did materialize, questions arose about the legality of their sponsorship deal. When that was resolved, Ely Buendia's mother died days before the concert. The heart attack survivor looked dangerously gaunt tonight, and when he dropped his Raybans mid-set, a tired set of eyes were revealed. His body gave out, the concert was cut short, and the fans staggered out profusely concerned over Ely's health and bewildered by the unexpected drama that interrupted what had been an otherworldly evening.

Yet during the one hour the Eraserheads had been onstage, all the backstories stopped to matter to the fans who were there. It was a transformative show. A countdown timer had people chanting, as if it were New Year's Eve, the seconds before the E-heads would be together again at long last. A drumburst from the darkened stage let us know that they were there and when the familiar chords to Alapaap broke through, we all felt tearjerky. The songs rolled out like old intimates welcomed back into our lives after years of absence. From my vantage point in the middle of the Patrons section, I captured some videos on my old point-and-shoot. What the official DVD release will not be able to capture is Ely's voice remixed with the voices of countless fans singing along -- in low intensity during less familiar lyrics, in full throated throttle during the choruses. The Eraserheads seemed to realize this, and at moments, Mr. Buendia would lay back, content with accompanying the fans who were doing the singing for him. This was our reunion concert too.

My friends noticed Marcus stepping over some cues. The energy level onstage was not that high, save for Raimund, who reminded me of a another concert, 70 years ago at Carnegie Hall by the Benny Goodman Orchestra, where drummer Gene Krupa hyperventilated on his beats to spur on his lethargic bandmates in what was to become a historic and legendary jazz concert. The flaws barely mattered. Perfection was not demanded of them from us. The weight gain of old comrades is never an impediment to the renewal of friendships.

Fifteen songs, then it was over. Before it was announced that the concert would not continue, my friends were counting off the songs yet unheard and guessing at which would find its way into the second set. Magasin? Spoliarium? Para sa Masa? Pare Ko? Ang Huling El Bimbo? They got lost on their way to the reunion, and we were deprived of the certainty of seeing them again in live color. We can experience only in our minds how that second set would have played with our nostalgia -- the emotional tour through valleys and peaks that would have built up to a crescendo, finally summing up with El Bimbo (the rumored last song).

Had the concert ended as intended, a full circle would have been completed for the fans, and presumably the Eraserheads. Instead, that lost second set would linger on the collective imagination, and there will be a clamor for the band to complete that set as if it were the antidote to some vague malignant spell. I really hope nobody felt cheated over tonight -- it was a solid one hour (I had heard that there was only to be one long set), and the outpour of good feeling was enough to sustain several concerts.

Yet I really don't know if that set would ever be completed, or if the Eraserheads will ever perform together again. My reflexively grim nature is prepared to accept that it might not happen again, no matter what evidence to the contrary there may be, and if that does happen, the mystery of that second set will be a lasting source of fascination and the stuff from which legends are born. I hope that if the E-heads perform together again, they do so knowing that the experience will be fun for them -- never mind the fans -- and that they will never be forced by circumstances into a position that compels them to play together without joy. That wish imparted, I do hope to be in line when the Eraserheads are ready and happy to finish their second set.

Maalaala Mo Kaya?

Just discovered this over at YouTube. The song has long held a strange appeal for me which I could not explain, delving as it does into some primal emotion in me. It may very well have been constantly hummed to me as a baby. I've never really bothered with the lyric, which strikes like a rant by someone nursing an Alzheimer's patient. And there have been godawful covers out there.

This version by the late Jerry Orbach, who introduced the song on Broadway in 1960, is just fantastick. Perfectly modulated, the arrangement free of overblown arpeggios. The epitome of classy, almost statesman-like, as if watching Lincoln or Obama sing very well. If one had lived a long long life, settling down to the end, and this version below was the very last thing that person ever heard, it would just be apt.

Pacquiao v. De La Hoya

Manny Pacquiao and Oscar de la Hoya have agreed to square off this December 6, in what both the Philippine Daily Inquirer and the Los Angeles Times agree is "the biggest boxing match in years". Vegas oddsmakers currently tag the Golden Boy as the 8-5 favorite over the would-be boxing congressman. If Manny pulls it off, he'll become the first Filipino to defeat a guest voice actor of The Simpsons in an athletic competition. Fame, fortune and Paris Hilton await the victor.

Good luck Manny! Slurp down your gullet that oyster that is the world!

Zorayda Sanchez Dies at 57

The film and television comedian Zorayda Sanchez has passed away at the age of 58 57 from breast cancer. Condolences to her friends and family. By many accounts, she was quite smart -- a a journalism graduate who also wrote for the Manila Bulletin. She attained fame though in the late 1980s for trafficking in her homely looks in various film and television shows, most famously in Goin' Bananas.

Now there is a lengthy tradition of comedians going for laughs based on their unattractive looks, from Zasu Pitts to Chichay to Anne Ramsey to Elizabeth Ramsey. I have decidedly mixed feelings about that tradition. On one hand, the humanist spirit that proclaims the triumph of inner beauty would balk at the notion of ugly women seeking laughs on their looks. The offense seems especially egregious if, as with Ms. Sanchez and Whitney Tyson so often did on Bananas, they earned the laughs by vamping it up as wannabe sexpots. One of the few dogma I learned from Catholic school that was reinforced by a very liberal liberal arts education was that it is wrong to laugh at ugly people. From that perspective, it was sinful to laugh at Zorayda Sanchez.

(Sidebar: I remember a commentary published in my neighborhood church newsletter that dared Hollywood to make a version of Rambo where John Rambo proclaimed his love and forgiveness to all the Vietnamese who had wronged and tortured him instead of killing them with mattress box springs. For your consideration, Mr. Stallone.)

But as far as I know, Ms. Sanchez did not express later regrets or proclaim herself victimized by her showbusiness circumstances. She was an adult when she chose the path that led her to steady work and some measure of fame. I suppose that people who have free will in making the choice on how to make a living (or to not make a living) will consider themselves absolutely liberated, no matter what other people say. And it would be but decent for their friends, their family and their strangers to respect those choices. It was well within Ms. Sanchez's right to exploit her looks to make other people laugh, and but fair for those others to laugh in return.

And yup, if laughing at Zorayda Sanchez was sinful, me and my family are guilty as sinners. I distinctly remember my dad actually gagging on his food one family dinner as the camera stayed lovingly in extreme closeup on Ms. Sanchez's face. Presumably, the deliberate purpose of her comedic career was to make people laugh, and she performed quite fine in that respect. For that, she is receiving our appreciation at this sad time. But offscreen, she had every right to live life in the dignity she defined for herself. That side of her, to which the public was not privy to, will be her fullest measure, and those who only knew her onscreen will have to understand that fact even as we remain unfamiliar to those facets of her personality. It is those private aspects of her that her family and intimates will mourn the loss of the most.

August 28, 1987

I'll sneak this in as the dawn of this day approaches. 21 years ago today, sometime around 4am, we received a phone call from a family friend, virulently anti-Cory, who gleefully reported that Col. Gringo Honasan had staged a coup d'etat and that the Aquino government was about to fall. The news from good old DZRH was not optimistic. The rebels were near Malacanang and there were many casualties, including Noynoy Aquino who had been shot in the neck and shoulder while his bodyguards were killed. At around 5am, President Aquino, Speaker Mitra and Senate President Salonga appeared on all the TV stations still in operation, denouncing the coup. I was eleven, quite fascinated with the general panic, and incognizant of the real dangers to democracy and of the threats of violence.

This coup though was virtually over by the end of the day, and its place in history has been superseded by the much more dangerous 1989 coup (lots of memories of that one, check out this corner come December 1). Probably the most enduring vignette from this coup was Luis Beltran's Philippine Star column stating that President Aquino had hid under her bed as the fighting began, leading to an unprecedented libel suit from the President.

The personal memory that has stuck with me occurred a few days after the coup, when our grade school conducted an "emergency drill". Like a fire or earthquake drill, the emergency drill was prefaced by a series of bells. However, instead of fleeing the building, the emergency drill taught all of us to proceed in stealthy fashion to the ground floor classrooms, and to sit on the floor away from the windows and make sure none of our heads were visible from the outside. The teachers never explained what the exact purpose of the emergency drill was, but a lot of us somewhat understood.

Nikon D90: The Era of Video SLR Begins?

The new Nikon D90 receives a rave review from David Pogue of the New York Times, which he calls a "mind-blowing, game-changing camera". It is the first SLR that can record video. That may not seem like a big deal, since most point-and-shoots can record video already, and dedicated camcorders are prevalent anyway.

Think again. This is a video camera with interchangeable lenses. As Mr. Pogue points out:

[H]ere’s the real mind-blower: You now have a video camera that takes interchangeable lenses. Before the D90, if you wanted a hi-def video camera with removable lenses, you’d pay $7,000 for the camera alone, and another $7,000 to $20,000 for each lens.

On this camera, though, I tried Nikon’s $500 fish-eye lens, and filmed a complete 180-degree vista without having to turn or pan. With a macro lens, I filmed a bumblebee, huge and clear as though it were in a National Geographic documentary. With a huge telephoto lens, sitting in my bleachers seat at the Pilot Pen tennis tournament, I was suddenly filming what other people could capture only as still images. (You can see sample stills and videos at nytimes.com/personaltech.) Independent filmmakers, rejoice.

Some photographers might not be too enthused about the SLR/Camcorder, but I do see its conveniences, especially for those who shoot with an eye towards journalism, for the tourist or the YouTube uploader. I had been intending to buy the Nikon D80, but not anymore. I'll wait and splurge for the D90.

More D90 specs from Ken Rockwell and Melissa Perenson of PC World.

• New Nikon Holds a Secret -- New York Times

Cher May Star in Next Batman Film as "Cougar"

Cher is reportedly in talks to star as Catwoman in the next installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman. Reports the Daily Telegraph:

A studio executive said: "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years.

"The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

I guess Mr. Nolan wants to haul in the older folk the next time around, to balance all the young 'uns that made The Dark Knight the second-highest grossing film in U.S. history.

• Cher 'to play Catwoman' in next Batman film -- The Daily Telegraph

Review: WALL-E

I wanted to exult in WALL-E, but the film that I saw held as much resonance as a well-told story about a girl and her dog. I'm not yet sold whether it is worth a second look, but on first impression, it is one of the weaker entries in the Pixar oeuvre.

The first third holds promise and is easily the best part of the film. Though long abandoned by most carbon life forms, Planet Earth of 2700 holds plenty of surprises, such as towers of compacted trash competing with rusted skyscrapers and inexplicable dust storms. Then there's WALL-E the trashmaster itself, a blessedly mute descendant of Johnny 5. As a silent clown in the tradition of Chaplin and Bean, it is fitfully funny. As a character, its cloying absence of malice annoys.

Help from above descends on the barren earth in the form of the unsubtly-named Eve. Unlike its biblical forebears, Eve is a reactionary killer who tumbles more ships than the anonymous iceberg from Titanic. In a world bereft of choices, it and it fall for each other. Despite a svelte Scandinavian exterior and initial Germanic demeanor, Eve in love is revealed as a rather direct, effusive, earth mother-to be, much like any romantic comedy character Drew Barrymore portrayed after 1999. WALL-E's devotion to Eve even after it is suddenly stricken comatose nearly matches that of Benigno the nurse in Almodovar's Talk to Her. Idiosyncratically, all these play out to the score of Hello Dolly!, a film which hopes to be to WALL-E as pinot noir was to Sideways.

(Notice that not a single song or sighting there is of Barbra Streisand, the ostensible star of Hello Dolly! It probably was a deliberate artistic choice -- her visage would have been quite distracting. But it would have been quite obnoxious if she actually declined to lend her voice or face to the noble undertaking that is WALL-E. As she presumably soaked in a bubble bath or two lathered from the earnings brought home by her husband for playing father to Pistachio Disguisey in The Master of Disguise, one likes to think that she owes movie audiences karmic payback.)

In an unspeakably dazzling sequence, WALL-E and his sleeping beauty are skyrocketed out of earth and into an unknown galaxy where our hero meets its maker, or descendants thereof. At this point, the film's charms wore off for me. Admittedly, I was heavily spoiled by having watched the little-seen Mike Judge comedy Idiocracy (2006). Idiocracy works on a similar theme of a future earth ruined, diagnoses essentially the same causes of the problem and predicts virtually the same effects on the human race. Idiocracy also had an R-rating, meaning it could play on the same points in a much more pungent fashion, which it did. WALL-E takes on the same themes, but in an understandably neutered way to make it more palatable to the kids and the general audience. Idiocracy was a very flawed film, especially execution-wise. But watching it before WALL-E was like hearing the same joke told twice, the first time in all its profane glory, the second cleaned up for a TV audience. It does not matter if the second comedian is more talented, the joke still loses potency upon retelling.

At this point, inconsistencies pop up that affect the internal integrity of the story. It is broadly hinted that adult humans of 2700 are incognizant of intimacy, yet there is a nursery stocked with newly-born babies. Humans are shown as unhealthily obese, yet it also appears that they live very extended lifespans (check out the row of portraits in the Captain's lounge). There is no clarity as to the motivations, directives or adherence to Asimov's Laws of Robotics within the robot population. And our heroes heavily rely upon the kindness of strangers confined to the lunatic ward for robots, despite the presumptively questionable morality of insane robots and the presumptive amorality of robots in the first place.

Flaws aside, the latter half is kept lively by the hijinks of Wall-E and Eve. They are elaborately planned and executed, as expected of Pixar, yet they can work as well as pieces in themselves without regard to how they service the plot. Even what seems to have been designed as the showcase sequence -- a fire extinguisher-propelled pas de deux -- is highly charming on its own but would probably have had just as much impact if confined to a five-minute short. The love story of Wall-E and Eve could have bore more weight had Wall-E exhibited more than the qualities possessed by a really cute lapdog eager for attention.

I might be too hard on WALL-E, but it self-evidently sells itself as a parable for our age, so it should be held up to a loftier standard (not to mention the expectations set by the very high bar set by previous Pixar films). But it ends on a very very clever note. Do not miss the stunning end credit sequence, which in three short minutes depicts the re-evolution of human civilization through the retelling of the history of art.

ADDED: Found this at calacanis.com, more on WALL-E/Idiocracy similarities:

• Who did Wall-E rip off more, Idiocracy or Short Circuit - calacanis.com

E-Heads Concert On; Marlboro Leaves Second-Hand Smoke

Multiple sources, citing an e-mail from Raimund Marasigan, report that the Eraserheads reunion concert will push through on August 30 at the Fort Bonifacio open field. Philip Morris has pulled out of its sponsorship of the concert, which is no longer for free, previous registrations aside. No word yet whether you can ask back whatever personal info you may have imparted at the Marlboro website as you registered for your free tickets.

Some more backstory from Jim Ayson at PhilMusic.com.

If this works out, maybe Beachhouse can sponsor a free concert at the U.P. Sunken Garden, for old time's sake?

The Terrific New Del Monte Fit'n Right Ad Campaign

Has there been a more successful local ad campaign in recent years than that recently rolled out for Del Monte Fit'n Right? The drink has been much harder to come by in stores in the last few weeks. Even in the supermarket at Robinson's Otis, one of worst-situated malls in the metropolis, the shelved stocks are at a healthy half-empty.

No samples up yet on YouTube, so for those who haven't seen it, it features, with little flash, a bunch of ordinary Joes and Jills who have lost a miraculous number of pounds in a span of a few weeks while on the drink, with before/after pics as evidence. (The magic ingredient? Something called L-Carnitine) Why does it work better than, say, Del Monte's previous ad campaign with Marian Rivera?

A confluence of factors, I suspect. The visual evidence of staggering weight loss supposedly attained in just a few weeks of course has tremendous impact. But several other factors differentiate Fit'n Right from other wonder drinks or pills that have tried out similar motifs. Fit'n Right is only a few more pesos expensive than cola, way cheaper than a diet pill such as Xenical. The sheer simplicity of drinking it unadorned compares favorably to elaborate constructs such as the South Beach Diet. The fact that it is a fruit juice drink makes it more palatable to a mass audience than a herbal tea. And fruit juices have long held popular appeal as inherently healthy and innocuous ingestions as compared to riskier propositions such as "Bangkok pills" -- nobody yet has died from drinking too much Zesto. In all, Del Monte Fit'n Right comes across as a safe, convenient, relatively inexpensive and tasty drink you can take with every meal and snack without fear of dying or crippling disease but with the positive effects of death or prolonged illness -- drastic rapid weight loss.

The ads do note that the miracle of Fit'n Right can only work if accompanied by appropriate diet and especially exercise, so the promise is not as extravagant as one may think. I have drunk the product on occasion for several months, and could attest that it helps work out a good sweat, whether at the gym or at the Mumbai-like LRT1 trains. Sadly, the positive benefits have been negated by my adherence to the Michael Phelps diet without expending the commensurate world-record speeds.

Robert Jaworski for Juvelon E+

"The barangay tanods are threatening to arrest us for vagrancy, so we might as well split the scene." This clip, from a 1984 PBA broadcast has quite a lot. Vintage Joe Cantada (cigarette in hand). Future Senator Webb lauding "tenacious defense" while future Senator Jawo hawking Juvelon E+. Terry Saldana's off-game and Ed Ducut's career game. Former PBA MVP and "introvert" Freddie Hubalde explaining why Jesus should be your Lord and Savior. And gigantic microphones. Brought to you by Andy Player Special: Real Whiskey for Real Winners. Oh, and for you Steve Watson fans out there, sorry, he did not score.

Fox News in the Philippines Has Been Hijacked!!

Paging Harry Shearer! For the past 20 minutes at least, the Fox News broadcast on Sky Cable in the Philippines (which nobody really watches anyway) has been diverted from regular programming to a satellite feed featuring this guy:

of whose identity I have no idea. The first few minutes I saw the feed, I thought it was a fun feature by the folks at Fox at Friends, maybe the revelation of another Jesse Jackson moment. But as minute after minute lapsed, it became clear that what the Fox News audience in the Philippines was witnessing was a transmission snafu. About 15 minutes in, that guy started answering an unknown, unheard interrogator (maybe Geraldo Rivera), about some apparent kidnapping. Just right now, he has put on his black Stetson hat and left the scene, so perhaps the next few hours on Fox will feature a potted plant and a possibly faked bookcase. No big loss.

No bloopers during the time he was on. He answered his cellphone twice, made nice with the crew, but if he said something off-kilter, its context was lost on me.

The Best Burger in the Philippines?

"Bread N' Bites. A better version of Jollibee. Very popular. Open 6.30am-8.30pm" So says Insight Guides: Philippines (p. 374), one in the series of popular travel guide books co-published with Discovery Channel.

Is Bread N' Bites within walking distance from any MRT-LRT station? Insight Guides: Philippines supplies the answer -- no, unless you consider the distance between Monumento Station and Solano, Nueva Vizcaya as walkable. Yup, Bread N' Bites is officially located along the National Highway, Solano, Nueva Vizcaya.

To be fair, it appears that the Insight Guides people are not Jollibeenthusiasts in the first place ("The best-loved Filipino fast food comes from the happy, smiley Jollibee. Burgers consist of a pork mixture with sweet sauce, which appeals to the local populace more than the beef burgers of McDonald's." IGP, p. 371) So Bread N'Bites may not really be that big a deal in the end. But it does tickle my fancy that it is possible that the best burger in the Philippines might be found in Solano, Nueva Vizcaya, made by an establishment that has so far evaded description and review in the Google universe.

My Memories of 8-21-83

25 years ago today was a Sunday. At around 4pm, I was watching GMA 7. Scooby Doo was on, featuring an indistinct monster of American Indian origin. The TV screen was showing a giant totem pole running after Scooby and Shaggy when the news bulletin flashed at the bottom of the screen:

FORMER SENATOR BENIGNO AQUINO, JR. WAS SHOT DEAD AT THE MANILA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT BY AN UNIDENTIFIED GUNMAN.

From the crawl, the only words I really understood were "junior was shot dead at the manila international airport by an". As the crawl repeatedly flashed, I thought that the piece of news was important enough that I should tell my parents about it. So I memorized the bulletin, then went running of to my mother, who was relaxing in the downstairs parlor. Her slumber was shattered by her frantic seven year old dashing into the room and breathlessly intoning the following words in robotic sing-song succession:

"Former Senator Benigno Aquino Jr. was shot at the Manila International Airport by an unidentified gunman!"

"Shit!" My mom exclaimed as she was jolted from sleep. "Patay?" I couldn't remember. "Go tell Papa. He's in the basketball court."

As my mom went over to the TV, I ran over to the basketball court around 100 meters from our home. My dad was on his way back home when I caught up with him.

"Mama tells me to tell you that former Senator Benigno Aquino Jr. was shot at the Manila International Airport by an unidentified gunman!"

"Putang ina!", my dad exclaimed. "Patay ba?", my dad asked and I told him I didn't remember. We entered the house. The mood was funereal. My mom soon went flipping through the channels.

"Wala naman ah. What channel did you see the bulletin?"

"Channel 7." My mom switched the station to Channel 7. Scooby-Doo had just ended, and Anna Lisa was just about to begin. A few minutes into Anna Lisa, the bulletin flashed again.

"Oh no! Patay nga si Ninoy." My mom got mildly hysterical, my dad cursing. Shortly after the bulletin had flashed again, the phone rang. It was my grandfather, calling about the news. He had been involved in pre-martial law Liberal Party politics, and had known Ninoy Aquino slightly. He and my mom talked awhile, while my dad was flipping channels, waiting for more extensive news coverage. I had not known Ninoy, and wanted to see a picture of him. At that age, I had believed that people who wore glasses (such as myself) were good people, while people who did not wear glasses were bad people.

MBS-4 finally broke in with a live news report. A picture of Ninoy flashed on the screen. He wore glasses, so I then knew we lost a good person. There was some talk about how the assassination might lead to the ouster of Marcos, to which I exclaimed a pained, "No!". My folks glared at me with an equally-pained, in-addition horrified look as if I were the devil's spawn. At that point, I realized that not all was right with Mr. Marcos, and my political consciousness was awakened, sort of.

The next day, the Daily Express reported Ninoy's assasination on the front page. The day before, it had noted Ninoy's arrival is a small story on the lower portion of the front page, beside a story of a man from Jordan who claimed to be 138 years old. Our maids were reading aloud the lead story on Ninoy's assasination. At the close of the story, there was a note that the planned state visit of President Ronald Reagan was now imperiled because of the murder. Our maid bitched extensively about that fact, because she had a huge crush on Ronald Reagan.

Reagan indeed cancelled the state visit.

For Vincent Price Fans

Too ABBA-ish, but still:

SC Declares Legislative Vetoes as Unconstitutional

Just last week, the Supreme Court of the Philippines ruled for the first time that legislative vetoes are unconstitutional. A legislative veto, roughly speaking, is a measure or provision that allows Congress or its members to pre-approve or invalidate executive actions in the implementation of laws after the law had already taken effect.

The case is Abakada v. Purisima (on the constitutionality of the Attrition Act of 2005), and the full text of the decision may be found here.

The Origins of Garfield (As Told to Me In a Dream)

This came to me as I was napping on my way to work. During the Korean War, Garfield the Cat and his archnemesis Ranticon (also a cat) were wandering around the Korean countryside when they chanced upon a South Korean peasant lady, who was heavily bundled with clothing. Ranticon proposed they make a contest out of guessing the real reason why the woman was bundled, with the winner attaining human speech and immortality. Garfield agreed, and guessed that she was bundled to cover her disfiguring injuries and shrapnel wounds. Ranticon maintained that she was a suicide bomber disguising her apparatus. They unraveled the peasant, then they each interpreted what they saw in a manner favorable to their own guesses. As a result, they both attained human speech and wandered the Earth forever, awaiting the next fateful battle. Then I woke up.

It's a stupid incomprehensible dream of course (though I did Google "Ranticon" when I got to work.) I took some fun nonetheless in trying to deconstruct elements of my dream and why they all came together.

Subconsciously, I must have linked together Garfield and Hawkeye Pierce (Alan Alda) from M*A*S*H (a favorite show of mine), both of them sharing a wiseass skeptical attitude. Also, just yesterday, I saw a depressing news report about newly discovered mass graves from the Korean War, hence that war weighed heavily in my subconscious. The dillemma about the heavily bundled woman, replete with questions about human nature and good faith, was akin to some of the situations presented on M*A*S*H*, especially during its preachy later phase. The prize of immortal life had to be some form of internal justification why a cat that was alive during the 1950s Korean War would still be alive and cracking wise today. And finally, I had only recently seen Transformers, a film with an especially vibrant depiction of war, hence the Decepticon-sounding name "Ranticon".

Still, why Garfield? I'm more of a Bill the Cat person.

Juxtapositions

This paragraph is, on multiple levels, just fricking hilarious. Quoted in full, from a report written by Dan Glaister and printed today on The Guardian (UK), the self-proclaimed "world's leading liberal voice":

[John] McCain's position was more nuanced: "Some of the richest people I've known in my life are the most unhappy," he said. His wife applauded from the audience.

• Obama and McCain square off before church audience - Dan Glaister, The Guardian

Filipino Olympic Athletes, Fun Facts About (Part 2; 1936-2008)

Part 1 ended with the 1936 Berlin Olympiad, the last Olympic Games to be held for the next 12 years. No Games were held in 1940 and 1944, due to the prevalence of World War II fighting in 3 of the 7 continents of the world. In the ancient times, states were said to have ceased hostilities during the Games. Since the Olympic ideal has the hint of naive anyway, it would have been interesting to see what would have happened if the IOC held the Games anyway, to prove to Hitler, Mussolini, Churchill et.al that war be damned, the Games shall go on. The 1940 Games would have been held in Tokyo, opening up all sorts of schemes only a master supervillain of cartoonland could dream up.

• The 1948 London Olympics were the first Games participated in by an independent Republic of the Philippines, our country having gained international recognition as independent two years prior. Which makes one wonder whether the 5 bronze medals the Philippines won when we were an American colony could be deemed as truly ours, or ultimately, property of the United States. Maybe a deal could be struck. Remember the Bells of Balangiga? If the Americans return the Balangiga bells they stole from us, we can in turn give to them those five Olympic bronze medals. Any old blacksmith can cast a church bell or three, it takes the third best athlete in the world to obtain an Olympic bronze medal.
  
  
  
• From 1948 to 1960, the Philippines won zero gold, silver and bronze medals. The closest our Pinoy Olympians would get to a medal was in 1952, when weightlifter Rodrigo del Rosario (b. 1917) placed 4th in the Men's Featherweight division. If Time Magazine is to be believed, del Rosario once held the world record for his division. Among the athletes we sent over to London, Helsinki, Melbourne and Rome were kick-ass basketball teams that included Caloy "The Big Difference" Loyzaga, Lauro "The Quick Brown Fox" Mumar and Carlos "Bad Boy" Badion, who was said to have popularized the "bicycle drive", of which sadly no examples exist on YouTube. However, the coach of the '48 and '52 basketball teams, Dionisio Calvo, is the only Filipino and among the first members of the FIBA Hall of Fame.


• The most fascinating Filipino Olympian of that period though is undoubtedly the sprinter Mona Sulaiman (b. 1942), whom I first read about in the late and lamented Sports Flash. Asia's fastest woman during her heyday, member of the RP '60 and '64 Olympic team. Her Olympic stint was not stellar, but she dominated the 1962 Asian games, setting records in the 100 and 200m dash which stood until the 1970s. Then the story gets ugly. As reported in the 2 January 1967 edition of Sports Illustrated:
  

  The [1966 Asian Games]' most controversial athlete never participated. Mona Sulaiman, the Philippines' star sprinter, refused to take a test to verify that her sex was indeed fair. At first, in fact, she would not come to the games. Then, apparently succumbing to heavy pressure at home, she changed her mind. Amid great publicity Mona flew to Bangkok just before the games started, but once there refused to see a doctor. Unyielding officials still insisted on the sex test, and Mona again said no. Amid even greater publicity she returned to Manila, where she was soon summoned before a congressional committee.

  The Sports Illustrated version unfairly depicts Sulaiman as confused and possibly evasive. The full context, as I remember it from Sports Flash, supplies more nuance to the tale. Sulaiman had refused any gender test because it went against her Islamic faith, a facially credible explanation since her religion is somewhat prudish when it comes to these things. In addition, the gender card was exploited by disgruntled competitors, some Filipinos and some not. Whatever one thinks of the issue, it must be unnecessarily humiliating to be the subject of a congressional hearing to evaluate your gender ("Are you or have you ever been a member of the female gender?")
  
  
  
  (Book fo Lists afficionados may remember the story of Stella Walsh, the American sprinter who in 1932 won the gold medal for the women's 100m dash. Walsh was murdered during a robbery in 1980, and during her autopsy, it was discovered that she possessed male genitalia. Amusingly, when Walsh lost to Helen Stephens in the 100m during the 1936 Olympics, Walsh's camp falsely accused Stephens of being a man.)
  
  
  
  The brouhaha effectively ended Sulaiman's athletic career, and she was little-heard of until she was hired to work for the Philippine Sports Commission some years ago. You won't find pictures of her online, but I remember seeing her interviewed in a profile done on her for TV in the 1990s. You'd get why all that fuss was raised about her gender, but really, she seemed no more different than many a conductor on buses plying the EDSA route. Anyway, Ms. Sulaiman seems to have rebounded fine. In 2005, she was inducted in the Philippine Sportswriters Association Hall of Fame, along with Caloy "The Big Difference" Loyzaga and Lauro "The Quick Brown Fox" Mumar. And just last April, she carried the torch for the 2008 Palarong Pambansa in Palawan.
  


• Boxer Anthony Villanueva (b. 1945) was the first Filipino to win an Olympic silver medal, which he did during the 1964 Tokyo Olympics in the featherweight division. In doing so, he also broke the 28-year medal drought of the Philippines. His father, also a boxer, had won a bronze in the 1932 Olympiad. Many Filipinos claim he was cheated out of the gold medal, which went to the Soviet boxer Stanislav Stepashkin (but of course we Filipinos would insist). Many years later, Villanueva would offer to sell his silver medal to pay for his hospital bills. Depressing.
  


• We won nothing in the Olympics in the 1970s, so lets move on to Lydia de Vega (b. 1964), Asia's Sprint Queen (who votes on those things? Probably the same people who elected Pilita Corrales Asia's Queen of Song). De Vega first broke into the spotlight when she won the 100m dash in the 1982 Asian Games, a feat she repeated 4 years later. She capped her career in 1991 with an unexpected victory in the 100m at age 27 in the Southeast Asian Games. De Vega was also quite temperamental in her youth, getting into page-one feuds with POC head Michael Keon, and her own father and trainer, Tatang. She also starred as herself in a biopic, Medalyang Ginto, which used to air at odd hours at RPN 9. In one scene, De Vega, as herself, furiously slaps her Tatang (played by Tony Santos, Sr.), the script presumably approved by the De Vega family. Ms. De Vega-Mercado is currently a councilor of Meycauayan, Bulacan, a noble office which nonetheless seems anti-climactic.
  


• The Philippines won its first ever gold medal, through bowler Arianne Cerdeña, at the 1988 Seoul Olympics. Cerdeña won in dramatic fashion, defeating Japan's Atsuko Asai, 249-211 in a final bowl-off where she tallied six straight strikes at the end, bursting into tears as she completed her final frame. It was a thoroughly unexpected and widely applauded feat in the Philippines at that time, and Ms. Cerdeña was awarded P1 Million Pesos for her historic accomplishment. Why then haven't we renamed Taft Avenue into the Arianne Cerdeña Avenue? There is that quibble I myself had raised back then, in class, after my teacher waxed effusive praise of Cerdeña, "But bowling is only an exhibition sport." I was promptly booed for my clarification, and I promised myself never to tell the truth again.
  
  
  
  Even David Wallechinsky, the greatest living Olympic historian, believes that bowling should be fully accredited as an Olympic sport. But was bowling truly just an "exhibition sport"? Consider what Dayrit has to say:
  

  Although bowling was only an exhibition sport, the feat was spectacular as Cerdeña was allowed to move to the Olympic Village and sign the official Olympic book of Medal Awardees.

  That my friends is estoppel in pais by the IOC. And the cash award by the Philippine government further estops our country from not recognizing Ms. Cerdeña as the first ever Filipino Olympic gold medalist. So come the 2024 Manila Olympic Games, the Olympic torch will be carried into the Rizal Stadium (newly expanded, goodbye Harrison Plaza) by Lydia de Vega, who hands it off to Bea Lucero, who then passes it to Onyok Velasco, who turns it over to Manny Pacquiao, who finally gifts it, with the world in suspense, to the first ever Philippine Olympic gold medalist, Ms. Arianne Cerdeña, who bears the unique honor of lighting the Olympic flame in the 2024 Manila Olympics.
  
  
  
  (Actually, Cerdeña should not light the flame herself, but instead string the torch and tie the string to the claws of a trained Philippine eagle, which would then soar above the skies with the flame dangling it, to the wonder of all. When the eagle is positioned very well above the cauldron, it "drops" the flame into the bowl. Better. Than. Barcelona.)
  


• Three of our boxers did win three Olympic medals in the men's light-flyweight division from 1988 to 1996. Leopoldo Serrantes captured the bronze in 1988, Roel Velasco won the bronze in 1992, while his younger brother Mansueto "Onyok" Velasco won the more coveted silver medal in Atlanta in 1996. I still remember well Onyok's final bout against the Bulgarian Bozhinov, which aired live at PTV-4 at around 3 in the morning. He lost and we all valiantly insisted he was cheated in the scoring. Velasco went on to have an entertainment career. In the footsteps of Lydia de Vega, he starred as himself in the biopic The Onyok Velasco Story (1997), then appeared as Bogart in Mana-Mana Tiba-Tiba (2000), un film de Al Tantay. More recently, he had a regular role in the somewhat remembered ABS-CBN sitcom OK Fine Whatever, which also featured Ms. Gloria Romero as "Lola Barbie". And all that Olympic gold medalist Arianne Cerdena earned for her pains was a rubbing alcohol commercial.


• The Philippines has not won any medals since 1996, and it appears increasingly likely that we won't do so this year. (There is still hope though for our taekwondo jins). There's always London 2012, but it would be nice for our Philippine Olympic athletes to capture a few more medals in time for the historic and certainly legendary 2024 Manila Olympiad.

The Secret to Long Life Is Revealed

This is bound to become one of the classic YouTube virals. The 91-year old actor Ernest Borgnine was asked a few hours ago on a U.S. morning cable show what his secret to staying fit was. The answer below.

• Ernest Borgnine's Ageing Secret - Monsters and Critics

The Great Los Banos Tornado of 2008

Between 1 to 3 twisters (aka "buhawi", "ipo ipo", "tornado")) struck at the campus of UP Los Banos at around 5 this afternoon, reports PDI (on-the-scene reports from bloggers tjmonsi at Blogging Pinoy and at Brain Bang. No apparent injuries or considerable damage. What is most striking is that in the 6 hours since then, more than a dozen videos of the event have been uploaded on YouTube. Here's one such video, captured by Ryan Santos:

How Many Nazis Did Julia Child Poison?

There must be a polar opposite to "the banality of evil". Is it "the flamboyance of virtue"? Whatever it was, Julia Child was it.

Julia Child (1912-2004), legendary TV chef, lady with unique and bizarre locutions that make out like music-less jazz, finally exposed as a World War II spy for the United States of America. She was a member of the Office of Strategic Services (the precursor to the CIA), along with a few other surprising notables such as future Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and the father of Stewart Copeland of The Police. Luckily for him, Ms. Child never took vengeance on Dan Ackroyd, thus inflicting on the world Psi Factor: Chronicles of the Paranormal.

Bonus clip: Guaranteed gold. Click here to see Ms. Child at the top of whatever her game was. They'll never let the likes of her on TV again. Which is a sad thing.

Sandy Allen (1955-2008); World's Tallest Lady

For Guinness World Book of Records nerds like me, Sandy Allen, who died today at 53, was one of the superstars of the Guinness World. At 7"7 feet, she was recognized as the world's tallest living female by Guinness in the 1970s. Allen first attracted the attention of Guinness when she wrote to them in 1974, saying she wanted to meet someone of her own height.

By 1977, her height stopped growing after she underwent a pituary gland operation; and soon a Chinese teenager, Zeng Jinlian, would surpass her height. But Allen remained in the spotlight. She had a role as Angelina the Giantess in Fellini's Casanova (1976), and would appear for years at the Guinness Museum of World Records in Niagara Falls, Ontario. She also went on tours, spreading the word that it was ok to be different.

Georgia Georgia Georgia

You've gotta love it when the word "homonymy" finds a place in the public discourse. Check out this article over at Slate, which explains why the beleaguered country of Georgia and the American state of Georgia share the same name.

And while we're at Georgia, everybody and their uncle has heard Ray Charles's version of Georgia on My Mind, but here's a similarly great version by Ella Fitzgerald from 1963. Loved it from the very first Georgia:

Michael Phelps Eats 8 Eggs for Breakfast Everyday

I'm feeling the onset of a heart attack just reading about Mr. Phelps's daily eating regimen. From the New York Post:

Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.

He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Still, no match yet to Gaston, who eats five dozen eggs and is roughly the size of a barge.

The article goes on to describe what Michael Phelps eats and drinks for lunch and dinner, leading in all to a 12,000 calorie diet every day. Highly inspiring.

• Phelps' Big Secret: He's Boy Gorge - New York Post

The Russo-Georgian War: CNN vs. BBC

I turn on the TV, and there was CNN International blaring out a banner that Russian troops were mobilising towards the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, hitherto unaffected by the fighting. This despite the cease-fire agreement brokered between Russia and Georgia by French President Sarkozy just hours ago, and which Georgia announced had been breached by the Russians. A full-scale invasion, the seeming implication. Disturbing news, pronounced CNN anchor Jim Clancy. At which point, I switched over to BBC World.

The tone and temperament over at the Beeb was more sedate. It's banner announced conflicting reports about Russian troop movements towards Tbilisi, with the correspondent on the ground at Moscow reporting the official Russian line that the troops in movement were headed elsewhere.

CNN did later clarify its reporting, giving equal treatment to the Russian denial. I had minded though to compare the BBC coverage with CNN's because of what I read over at the blog known as Wu Wei, perhaps the most visible English-language blogger reporting from Georgia (Tbilisi, in particular). In a number of posts, he had been critical of the BBC coverage of the war, saying that it was biased against Georgia and towards Russia.

I haven't paid much attention to the nuances of the television coverage of the conflict, so I have no opinion over which network is biased for whom. But at least for those few minutes that I had the chance to compare the BBC and CNN coverage of a breaking development in that war, it was clear that the two networks had varying perspectives.

Francis Magalona Has Leukemia

Francis Magalona among the more iconic figures in the Philippine music scene, and proof that some good did come out of Loveli-ness, has been diagnosed with leukemia. A call has been put out by his friends and relatives for blood donors. Because of his popularity and relative youth (just 43), expect this development to receive wide coverage for the next several weeks. Which apparently is what his family wants, in the hope of encouraging more people to donate blood. From PEP through GMA News:

Friends and relatives organized a blood donation drive to help the popular singer's cause. They're also asking friends from the media to spread the word regarding Francis's condition to encourage people to turn up and donate blood.

The choice of celebrities with serious illnesses on how publicly to fight the battle is of course, an intensely one. But the intensified media coverage of famous people who are ill does usually help raise public awareness about the disease in focus. It has been said that the unprecedented disclosure of U.S. First Lady Betty Ford that she had breast cancer and required a masterectomy saved numerous lives, as it caused many women to have themselves tested.

A full and speedy recovery is hoped for Mr. Magalona.

UPDATE (8:30pm): Clarified my earlier post. The Inquirer has just posted online a conversation it had with Francis M.

“I don't want a media circus. I want privacy with my family,” Francis said in a phone interview with the Philippine Daily Inquirer as he waited for his attending doctor. “What I'd rather talk about is how to we can solicit blood donations to replace the supply that I have consumed in the hospital.”

What If Michael Phelps Threw A Party, And Nobody Came?

On his way to 5 Beijing gold medals (so far), Michael Phelps (now the greatest Olympian ever, says Pat Forde of ESPN) has shattered 5 world record times in the process. Or so we're told.

In the course of training for these Olympics, Mr. Phelps would have engaged in countless, probably daily dry-runs where he would have strived to match the speeds he used to break the world record times. After all, it would be necessary for him to develop the muscle memory to instinctively reach such speeds. So it is not beyond the pale that Phelps has actually broken these world records weeks or months before, away from the glare of the klieg lights and the cheers of spectators.

Phelps, I suppose, would have felt mildly frustrated everytime he broke a world record in an empty pool at three in the morning, when there was nobody there to witness or formalize that feat. But that would be nothing compared to what must be utter utter rage of Mr. Phelps' closest competitors, who may have broken world record times themselves during their own practice sessions and in the end earned nothing but lasting anonymity. At least until the next Olympics.

Fakery at the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony

Reports have been trickling of visual misrepresentations committed by the Chinese as they staged the opening ceremonies to the Beijing Olympiad. First, it was revealed that the fireworked footprints that glided through Beijing (as seen from above) were digitally manipulated. Then just today, Chinese officials admitted that the cute little girl in the red dress who sang a Chinese anthem as the national flag entered the stadium was lip-synching. The voice we heard was that of another Chinese little girl, who apparently was less cute.

I really can't work up any outrage over these developments. When I saw the opening ceremonies, I thought, "this is the grandest magic show ever staged." We know that magicians are not endowed with supernatural powers (excepting David Blaine), that their trickery is created through science and engineering precision. That knowledge does not spoil the enjoyment or the marvel at a finely-tuned magic trick, even if I do get to learn the mechanics behind the trick. If the Beijing Olympics trickery can at all be faulted, it would be for the simplistic means (digital effects, lip-synching) the illusion was perpetrated. But it does not detract for me, the awe I felt when I saw that opening. In the same way that the eventual knowledge on how the Barcelona Olympics flame was really lit did not take away the thrill I felt 16-odd years ago when that arrow flew towards the cauldron.

• Fiery Footprints Were Phony - Newsday
• Faking Scandal Over Girl Who 'Sang' in Opening Ceremony - The Daily Telegraph

'08 Pinoy Olympians on YouTube -- Tshomlee Go (Taekwondo)

Beijing is taekwondo jin Tshomlee Go's second Olympiad, he had competed in the Athens 2004 Olympics. Go, whose father and two brothers had been members of the Philippine National Taekwondo Team, started in the sport at age 7. After his retirement, he hopes to become a taekwondo sensei(?) and perhaps join the US Navy, but maybe he should consider a career in film. His name wouldn't be out of place in the marquee for a 1980s Filipino action film.

Here's Mr. Go (in blue) competing in 2007:

'08 Pinoy Olympians on YouTube -- M. Antoinette Rivero (Taekwondo)

Meet Mary (or Marie) Antoinette Rivero, 20, a member of the Philippine Olympic Team for the Beijing Olympics. Her sport is taekwondo, and her two older brothers were members of the National Taekwondo Team. This is her second Olympiad, she having made the finals during the Athens Games. The following clip shows her competing in the 2008 Asian Taekwondo Championships. Unfortunately, Rivero (in red), is defeated in this match, so if you want to see her in more opportune surroundings, click here.

Pinoy Swimmer James "JB" Walsh, 1st Place, 200m Butterfly - Heat 2

Just over an hour ago, Filipino Olympic swimmer James "JB" Walsh placed 1st in Heat 2 of the Men's 200m Butterfly, with a time of 1:59.39. The world record in that event, 1:22.87, is held by a certain Michael Phelps. Its not very likely though that Walsh would make the finals, many of the leading times in the other heats were seconds faster than the time achieved by Mr. Walsh. Still, a fine achievement for the Philippines. I remember, also in swimming, that Akiko Thomson also placed first in her heat in the 1988 Olympics, but failed to make the finals.

They just aired his heat on C/S. He came from behind the last 25 seconds to take the heat.

Now would have been a good time to introduce Walsh in my Pinoy Olympians on YouTube series, but unfortunately, there is no clip of him on that website. Here's a bio though.

UPDATE: Here's a clip of Mr. James Walsh, courtesy of Revver.com

UPDATE 2: Just did the math. It appears that 28 other competitors had faster times than Walsh in their 200m heats, including Mr. Phelps. With a total of 44 competitors, that means Walsh placed 29th out of 44. Still, congratulations to James Walsh for winning his heat.

'08 Pinoy Olympians on YouTube -- Mark Javier (Archery)

Archery is an underappreciated skill this day and age that would glide into extreme usefulness should we enter a post-apocalyptic era. Mark Javier, an archer and a graduate of Siliman University, is competing in his first Olympiad in the recurve event. Javier was among the earliest members of the Philippine team to compete in Beijing, having coming in 36th so far in his competition.The following clip is a video from 2006 featuring Mr. Javier in practice:

'08 Pinoy Olympians on YouTube -- Sheila Perez (Diving)

Diver Sheila Mae Perez hails from Davao and is a veteran of the 2000 Sydney Olympics. She won 3 gold medals in the 2005 SEA Games. She wears a rosary bracelet while participating in competition, a fun fact that will no doubt be inordinately highlighted if she succeeds in bringing home an Olympic medal. Here's a short bio of Ms. Perez:

Why Doesn't RP Go for Olympic Gold in Sailing?

The Philippines is an archipelago inhabited by sailors and populated by fishermen. Sailing should be an easy fit. Our multitude of waters and high winds provide optimum training grounds. The sport itself requires considerable physical strength, but more importantly, a kinship with the wind that would require the sailor to adjust to the wind conditions.

The Philippines sent a contingent to compete in Sailing from 1960 to 1992, but no more since then. I think it is a sport which we have a reasonable chance to do well, and a worthy investment for future Olympic glory. We can even color our sails with vinta colors to evoke a uniquely Filipino trademark as we kick the asses of more affluent nations.

A Hopeful Sign for Solar's Olympic Coverage?

Solar Entertainment's television coverage of the Olympics so far is excessively disappointing, for those whom Destiny would not connect a cable line to, or for those who cannot afford cable TV but want to catch the Olympic fever. The matches aired on free TV have been of mild to middling interest, and its criminal that there's no coverage of swimming and Michael Phelps's attempt to make good on the expectation to earn 8 gold medals this time around (1 so far).

But here's maybe a hopeful sign: C/S (aka RPN 9) is currently airing live the US-China Men's Basketball game. According to Solar's published Olympic schedule for today, that game is supposed to be aired not C/S, but at Basketball TV, available only for Global Destiny subscribers. Presumably, Solar is adjusting to a clamor that such game, which is of wide interest to basketball-crazy Pinoys, be more accessible to viewers. I'd like to think that Solar would be similarly responsive to viewer reactions over their Olympic coverage.

(btw, China is killing the U.S. on some fine outside shooting this first half, though the Americans have been able to regain its footing. Bush is watching, I see. Shouldn't be stopping the Russo-Georgian War, or otherwise be working?)

Bernie Mac Dies at 50

The comedian who starred in such movies as the Ocean's Eleven series, Charlie's Angels 2 and Transformers, as well as his own hit TV series, has died from pneumonia, reports the Los Angeles Times. He had been ill the past few days, but representatives of the late actor had denied earlier rumors that his condition was grave.

Just a few weeks ago, Bernie Mac was upbraided by Barack Obama after the comedian had told some off-color jokes in the presence of the presidential candidate at a fundraiser.

(edited to add) A brief word about Mr. 3000, the one time I recall seeing Mac in a starring role. I'm a sucker for baseball movies of all sorts (even though it is the one American major-league sport to which I don't fully comprehend the rules to). Mr. 3000 was not particularly memorable, but Mac was quite good in it, giving his character a much harder edge than what one might expect given that film's plot summary ("Aging baseball star who goes by the nickname, Mr. 3000, finds out many years after retirement that he didn't quite reach 3,000 hits. Now at age 47 he's back to try and reach that goal.") I'll probably look up some of his stand-up routines sometime soon.

The RussiaRusso-Georgian War: McDonald's Theory Proven Wrong

"War has started", announces President Putin, between Russia and Georgia. The New York Times has a summary of the Russo-Georgian War so far, while The Guardian has this Q&A about the South Ossetia dispute which led to this war. Don't have much to say yet about this war, except that it seems especially sinister that the start of the war was timed to coincide with the opening of the Olympics. In the Ancient Olympics, states reputedly would suspend wars in order to play in the games.

One more thing. According to Wikipedia, Georgia acquired its first McDonald's franchise on 5 February 1999, while Russia had one as early as 31 January 1990. So this war definitively debunks Thomas Friedman's famed "Golden Arches Theory", as expressed in his 2000 book The Lexus and the Olive Tree, that "no two countries that both had a McDonald's had fought a war against each other, since each got its McDonald's."

Beijing '08: Best Olympic Flame-Lighting EVER!!

Forget Barcelona, the lighting of the Olympic flame at Beijing is not only the best ever, but it could be the best forever. Don't plan to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but by God, I never thought I could be surprised again by an Olympic flame-lighting ceremony. Great homage to the wuxia tradition. And Li Ning is 45, if you can believe it.

As for the rest of the night, it could very well be the best opening ceremony the Olympics have ever seen. It was not without a few slow moments, but Zhang Yimou did master the pagaentry required for such an event.

UPDATE: An abbreviated clip now up on YouTube:

Awesome Moments from History: '92 Olympics Opening

The Olympics open tonight, with the live Philippine telecast over at C/S (RPN-9) at 8pm. The opening ceremonies the last two Olympiads have been unmemorable, though I have high hopes for this one, with Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern, Hero) directing the show. But for me, nothing will top the lighting of the Olympic flame by Antonio Rebollo during the 1992 Barcelona Olympics -- a blissful union of athletic achievement, engineering marvel and sheer wonder.

The Irrationality of "Kain Tayo"

The first time I was taught to say "kain tayo", I was around 10, my electric organ tutor was at are sala, and I wanted to eat my lunch at the adjacent dining table. My mom called me aside, told me, "before you eat, you offer to your Ate Flor, 'kain tayo?'" I was befuddled. It was explained to me that this was the polite thing to say, and that she would graciously refuse. So I went up to Ate Flor, "kain po tayo", and she said, "uy salamat", before she ate a quarter of my lunch.

I've not completely weaned myself out of "kain tayo", despite the recognition that my initial instinct of befuddlement was the correct one. At times, having taken in 3 bites of my Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg, I find myself mumbling to my driver, "kain tayo." The invitation is appropriate if you've over prepared food, bought food for others, or are otherwise willing to share your food. Which rarely is the case if all you're having is a one-piece Chickenjoy.

For a time, I would exclaim, "Pasensya na, kakain ako pero sapat lang sa akin ang ulam", but I dropped it since it implied that I was always under obligation to always be ready with more than enough food for sharing. Which I am not. I then shifted to "Kakain ako!", a declaration to which there is no appropriate response, and which I belatedly realized actually sounded a bit rude. No happy median has yet to be discovered, so I still find myself saying, "kain tayo", like just this morning, to a total stranger inside an elevator, as I was eating some chocolate ice cream out of my mug.

ABS-CBN Uncovers Plight of Enraged Dutch Bowlers

ABS-CBN News-A (as opposed to ABS-CBN News-B) posts this most curious report from the Netherlands through its Europe News Bureau:

It's been a month since smoking was prohibited in restaurants, bars and cafes and yet, bowlers who smoke are still angry.

"People throw up, they urinate on the street and yet they ban smoking. I don't understand. It's not fair," bowler Rafulowitz told ABS-CBN Europe News Bureau.

Uhmm, I guess the world health authorities have underestimated the toxicity of the second-hand stench from street vomit. It's something they should look into.

Nonetheless, the plight of nicotine-addled Dutch bowlers is quite dire:

Whenever there is an urge to light up, the bowlers need to leave the lane to smoke in an enclosed designated area. That is, if there is one.

It's even worse if there is none because they have to smoke outside the bowling center.

And even for just a puff, the whole game is delayed.

You may ask though, why did ABS-CBN deem the crisis in the Dutch bowling society worthy of reportage in the Philippine media? There is a connection, you see:

Pallavicini, an organizer of the International Cultural Exchange (ICE) group for expats and who bowls with Dutch Pinoys, is having a hard time adjusting to a smoke-free bowling alley.

I could imagine the genesis of the story:

Reporter: Naku, bukas na deadline ko, wala pa akong mai-sulat.

Friend: Ba't ka pa sumama sa aming mag-bowling? Uwi ka na!

Reporter: Bahala na, may awa ang Diyos. (looks around) Hey Hans, you're leaving us already?

Hans: No, I'm just stepping out for a smoke. Stupid anti-smoking law.

Reporter: Really? Tell me more Hans...

To be fair though, the report reveals in the end, the innate moral superiority of the Filipino over the whiny Dutch:

Although they are not happy, some Dutch Pinoys support the good side of the smoking ban.

"Families bowl here all the time so they have kids and it's not good (cigarette smoke) for them, but if you ask me about opinions in bars and stuff like that, then it makes no sense," said Tomas, one of the top Pinoy bowlers in Holland.

Mindanao War Talkers and ROTC Obligations

War is inevitable in Mindanao, editorialized the Malaya yesterday (ditto Ernie Maceda), with the expressed hope that such war would be brief. Too much perhaps, but it did set me thinking, if war did break out, would I still be bound by my obligations when I took ROTC some 15-odd years ago? I do vaguely remember then being told that we should keep our fatigues in storage, so when the call did come years later, we would be properly attired when we assembled again at the Sunken Garden in Diliman.

When I took ROTC, Republic Act No. 7077 (1991) was already in effect, and that law supplies the answers. An overview. We ROTC grads remain citizen soldiers, classified as reservists, and obligated to remain on call until the age of 65. Those of us between 18-35 belong to the First Category Reserve, and are members of the Ready Reserve. Those part of the Ready Reserve are "subject to call at any time to augment the regular armed force of the AFP not only in times of war or national emergency but also to meet local emergencies...". Those exempt include the physically and mentally unfit to serve, residents abroad during their absence from the Philippines, those convicted of crimes involving moral turpitude, and those exempted on a case-to-case basis by "appropriate and competent authority".

Those between 36 to 51 years of age are Second Category Reserve, while those above 51 are Third Category Reserve. They may willingly volunteer to join the Ready Reserve, but they are by default part of the Standby Reserve. They may be mobilized or ordered to active duty only in times of national emergency or war. Upon reaching the age of 65, the ROTC grad shall belong to the Retired Reserve. Members of the Retired Reserve must willingly volunteer for active duty, and it appears they may be called upon only in times of local or national emergencies.

In 2002, a new law (Republic Act No. 9163) was passed that made ROTC no longer mandatory to the college curriculum, instituting as an alternative a National Service Training Program which provides Literacy Training Service or Civic Welfare Training Service. Graduates of these alternative programs do not become part of the citizen army. (lucky them) However, the new law did not repeal the old RA 7077, and in fact states that "graduates of the ROTC shall form part of the Citizens' Armed Force, pursuant to Republic Act No. 7077."

Of course, the decision to activate the Citizens' Armed Force and call up reservists to active duty is one of the most politically charged decisions a government could undertake, and it would be viable only if there is an accompanying nationwide consensus that such a step is necessary. But it has happened before. My lolo was a law student at U.P. when he was activated for duty in 1941 upon the Japanese invasion. As with a number of our lolos, he fought in Bataan. He was fortunate enough to have escaped during the Death March, and he spent the remainder of the war active in the guerilla movement. He passed on a year before I started my ROTC and did not see the degree to which I spectacularly messed up my own ROTC tour which caused my delayed graduation.

DOH Says Marlboro Sponsorship of Eraserheads Concert Illegal

It having been confirmed (by Howie Severino at GMA and by Jim Ayson at Philmusic.com) that Philip Morris is sponsoring the August 30 Eraserheads reunion concert, the Department of Health pipes in and says that such sponsorship is illegal. I had previously written about the Philip Morris legal conundrum. The Inquirer reports that the DoH and other "health groups" were exploring the possibility of filing charges against the tobacco giant, and Philip Morris seems to be gearing up for its defense.

But [Philip Morris CEO Louis C.] Camilleri argued the concert was by “invitation only” and open only to adults who have registered online to Marlboro’s mailing list or the “Red List,” Limpin said, quoting the tobacco executive’s letter addressed to Matthew Myers of Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids (CTFC).

“Invitations cannot be purchased and are not transferable. Controls will be in place at all entry points to the event to ensure that only persons with invitations are allowed to enter and to verify that they are adults by double checking their government-issued IDs,” Camilleri said in his letter.

Philip Morris might have the stomach for a protracted legal battle over the Eraserheads concert, since any concession now on their part that they are barred from sponsoring this concert will most definitely preclude them from even trying to stage other concerts in the future, until the law is amended. But I wonder whether Buddy, Ely, Marcus and Raimund would also have the stomach to remain at the center of this controversy, considering that there is no indication that they have grown to like each other again.

I won't be surprised if at the end of this, it would be the band itself which will "back out" of the gig, "para wala nang gulo." In such a case, PM/Marlboro still retains all the free publicity, a disclaimer that the concert did not push through not because of the legal ban but because of the band itself, and more time to prepare a legal vehicle or scheme come the next concert.
The E-heads will have whetted up enough appetite and anticipation should they be inclined to stage another reunion concert. The DoH and the health groups can say that they stood their ground and enforced the law. So, everybody wins.

(oh yeah, the fans...)