Liveblogging - The Oscars

9:06 a.m. (Manila Standard Time). Good morning and welcome to the 109th annual Age of Brillig Academy Awards live-blog. Be warmed of my utter apathy towards fashion. Otherwise, I'll try to make this a fun romp.

I fully expect No Country for Old Men to sweep best picture, director and the writing awards, and it won't be an undeserving choice, my qualms aside. But I'd be as smug as a pimp on the last day of income tax filing if There Will Be Blood pulls off the upset. Daniel Day-Lewis and Javier Bardem are locks, while there seems to be a real race in the actress and supporting actress categories.

9:20 a.m. For the first time in memoriam, the live Oscars telecast is not on RPN9 (it's on Velvet). It was a moment of glory when RPN9 first did the live telecast around 15 years ago (before then we had to wait around 2 weeks or so before they finally aired here), so one could actually host a live Oscar party with friends (which I did for a few years, serving up Worcestershire-drenched Salisbury steaks). But within years, the RPN9 telecast was an embarassment, with its excessive padding of commercials lengthening the show to an even more unreasonable length than it already is. With the advent of the Internet, it became possible to learn the winners a full thirty minutes before it aired on the allegedly live telecast on RPN9. Because Velvet is a cable channel, the anticipation is the show will be only 4 hours long, instead of the 6 hours that had become the norm.

9:27 a.m. "Eck-savier Bardem?" Fuck off, Regis.

9:31 a.m. That was a pretty schlocky introductory sequence. A lot of I see dead people.

Jon Stewart. I love The Daily Show, not so much his first Oscar gig. For whatever reason, the monologue seems rushed and unleisurely, as if Stewart will be played off by Bill Conti if he spiels on too long...But in the end, it was just as long. Good line about black presidents and asteroids hitting the Statue of Liberty.

9:43 a.m. Best costume design for the 16th century finery of Elizabeth: The Sequel Nobody Really Asked For. And they call Hollywood "progressive". It'll be the day when they give out this award for a post-1978 wardrobe.

9:50 a.m. One of those same-old best clips from best Oscar shows where they show wheelchair-bound Christopher Reeve to signal empathy and Roundtree playing Shaft to signal modernity.

9:53 a.m. - Best Animated Feature to Ratatouille. I haven't seen Persepolis, though it's probably as great as advertised. But I loved Ratatouille, so no complaints here.

10:00 a.m. - Amy Adams performing Happy Working Song from Enchanted (sounds like a Maoist advocation call and response). A crime she wasn't nominated for Best Actress for a sublime performance in Enchanted.

10:07 a.m. - SNL in search of a Barack Obama regular impersonator. Maybe they should consider Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

10:08 a.m. - Golden Compass wins an Oscar, definitive proof that Hollywood hates God.

10:14 a.m. - Scenes of Best Supporting Actors past. A world of wonders that award did for George Chakiris. I admired Casey Affleck's perf a lot, but Friendo would certainly kill me if I didn't publicly support it. Friendo is a sure thing. And he wins, averting a cattle gun massacre at the Kodak Theater.

10:24 a.m. - methinks Jesus-loving Jennifer Hudson just had to die a little having to give out an award to what just may be the most Satanic performance to ever win an Oscar.

10:28 a.m. - Owen Wilson, in what must be his first public performance since the earlier drama.

10:31 a.m. - oh yuck, the traditional cringe-inducing animated figure up the podium. Jennifer Garner must have felt edified "co-presenting" with Mickey Mouse some years back. The bee montage is actually quite funny though.

10:34. If this is truly a celebration of 80 years of Oscar, they are short-changing the first 30 years or so with the absence of the film clips of the announcements of the winners then. Best Supporting Actress, probably the most wide-open category. Tilda Swinton. Wow. Haven't seen Michael Clayton, but her White Witch was the best thing about Narnia. And her giving props to Clooney and his Batman just made her even worthier.

10:47. The screenplays are earlier than usual. Unsurprisingly, No Country takes Best Adapted Screenplay. He's followed by the Academy President, who introduces a pointless and unfunny explanation of the voting process. Poor Alfred Molina, selling out his soul for the Academy. John Travolta, yes, but Alfred Molina?

10:52. Miley Cyrus is a television star. She is not, by any estimation, a figure in the film industry, yet here she is on the Oscar telecast. Louis B. Mayer must be retching over at hell. Meanwhile, Kristin Chenoweth performs in one of those typically bad Oscar performance numbers replete with inappropriate prancing. Though considering the context of the song from Enchanted she's performing, the choreography is quite apt.

11:01. Funnier than the false introduction Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill as Dame Judi and Halle? The embarassment of the old geezer who had started his one-person standing ovation before realizing the joke.

11:07. Best actress already? But they haven't done the musical scoring awards yet. Or the In Memoriam yet. (wouldn't it be great if the show ended not with the Best Picture award, but the In Memoriam clip instead?)

11:10. Marion Cotillard. A friend of mine has just remarked, again, no American women winners. Might it be part of the anti-Hillary backlash, the war against the American woman? Otherwise, that was a fantastically short speech by Ms. Cotillard. I remember thinking as I saw Geoffrey Rush receive his Oscar, there's the F. Murray Abraham for the 1990s. I was wrong then. And besides, about Ms. Cotillard, I could say, as Barack did, she seems likeable enough.

11:22. Jack Nicholson presenting something. I hope its Best Documentary Short. Oh, the Best Picture Montage, the res ipsa loquitur of Oscar craptitude. The Great Ziegfield. The Life of Emile Zola. Mrs. miniver. Going My Way. Gentlemen's Agreement. The Greatest Show on Earth. Around the World in Eighty Days. My Fair Lady. The Sound of Music. Oliver. The Sting. Rocky. Ordinary People. Chariots of Fire. Gandhi. Rain Man. Dances with Wolves. Forrest Gump. Braveheart. Titanic. Gladiator. A Beautiful Mind. Million Dollar Baby. Crash. (And isn't it great that Oliver was actually succeeded as Best Picture by Midnight Cowboy)

11:29. The Bourne Ultimatum, by my count, now leads the total Oscar count with 3 wins.

11:32. I'm actually pleased with the honorary award to 98-year old Robert Boyle, an old Hitchcock-hand. The crows looks properly appreciative. I don't know though the medical (or aesthetic) value of the shawl on the shoulder for Mr. Boyle. Uh oh, looks like he'll thank a lot of people, whom he'll remember after a while. Will the orchestra play him off? According to IMDB, among Mr. Boyle's credits is Abbott and Costello Go to Mars. A fact worthy of Wikipedia.

11:42. Penelope Cruz, who seems to have survived having failed her audition with Tom Cruise, presents Best Foreign Language. Nobody seems to care about this award this year, controversy and all.

11:45. This telecast seems rushed rushed rushed, as if it were the post-9/11 awards show, an indulgence that just has to be gotten over with.

11:41. Nice to see the folks from Once win. Much as I liked Enchanted, the songs were meh. "Make art! Make art!" is just a great summary of the best aspects of the Oscars, or of film-making in general.

11:57. In a show of gallant chivalry, Jon Stewart brings out the lady who won Best Song to give out the speech the orchestra did not allow her. He wins applause from the audience, but is now probably banned from ever hosting the Oscars again.

11:59. Best Cinematography, the only reasonable chance for an award for There Must Be Blood other than Best Actor. Let's hope. Yes!

12:01. In Memoriam time. The most commented-part of the Oscars. Boy, that was an awfully long list this year, and its good they acknowledged the great Ousmane Sembène. I'm guessing they bumped off Ingmar Bergman at the pimp spot to give way for Heath Ledger.

12:08. Awkward for them to reference the musical theme from Jaws, minutes after having snubbed Roy Scheider from the death reel. Best musical score, they snubbed There Will Be Blood over some technical issues, so I don't care.

12:12. You'd think after Tom Hanks profaned God in that Da Vinci Sin, he'd lose all cred to perform such patriotic duties as introducing the troops.

12:15. Michael Moore-nerd-with-the-big-embarassing-speech-at-the-prom time. Oh, he lost. No!! I want my big fat awkward moment!

12:23. The Coronation of Diablo Cody, though Ratatouille at least had a smarter script. She's dressed as Sheena, Queen of the Jungle. To her fellow nominees, "I'm learning from you, everyday." She'd better.

12:28. Best Actor. There had been talk of a last minute surge for George Clooney. That would be interesting to see. But it just has to be Baron Daniel Day Lewis. And it is. Does cutesy with Dame Helen, calls the Oscar as "the handsomest bludgeon in town". His daddy was Poet-Laureate of Britain, y'all hear?

12:36. With two Best Actor Oscars, Daniel Day-Lewis joins the lofty rank of Hillary Swank as the only living actors with 2 legitimate Best Acting Oscars (as opposed to the illegitimate Best Supporting in an Acting which fatally taints Jack Nicholson).

12:42. Coen Brothers win, so I guess that No Country is inevitable. Frances MacDormand, seemingly texting as hubby Joel speaks on.

12:44. No Country, of course. Imagine if two years ago, someone told you that a film with Josh Brolin as the leading man would sweep through the major Oscars. Gotta eat now, more thoughts later.